Friday, July 1, 2011


I am teaching at a conference where I have had the privilege of listening to a excellent speaker the last couple of days.  She brought up a great quote from Harriet Tubman, “I have freed thousands of slaves.  I would have freed thousands more…had they known they were slaves.”  What a simple and convicting thing to say.  What makes this such a great quote is how true this is of so many things.  We are mastered either by the world or by Christ; we are slaves.  We might like to think that we are the masters of our own destiny, the captain of our own ship.  The truth is we are not in control.  We will either be ruled by the culture around us or by the book that guides us.  I hope that book is the Bible. 

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?  But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.                           Romans 6:16-18

So, you know you are a slave to Christ…how did you figure this out?  Did you wake up one day, having never opened a Bible or heard a word about God, and decide to surrender your own will over to God?  Probably not.  You heard.  You listened.  You learned.  You grew wise.  We like to talk about the freedom in Christ, but are we willing to talk to our daughters about the servitude and surrender?  If we don’t tell them (again and again and again) they will never hear.  If we don’t educate them they will never learn.  If we do not whisper what the Bible says in their ear on a constant basis then they will never grow wise. 
It is up to us to lead by example.  We must swallow our pride and admit we are slaves.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Modesty: Shopping Smarts

This is the second part of a series on Modesty by my guest, Kim Crawford.  Enjoy ~Tamara

Take a walk with me down the aisle at your local Kohl’s store. When you look around at the clothes for women and girls, would you say that they are designed to reveal the secrets of your beauty, or conceal them? I think we would all agree that the goal in modern apparel is to be revealing! So why does this matter for you and your girls?
According to Dannah Gresh, of Pure Freedom ministries, one of the top five factors for early sexual activity is, “a girl who looks older than she actually is. There is a strong case to argue that the end result of today’s immodest fashion is sexual promiscuity.”  I don't know about you, Mom, but my heart longs to protect my girls from the lifelong pain of premarital sexual involvement.
Here are some tools to consider when you are shopping for yourself and your daughters. May these aid you in your desire to help your daughter grow in purity and modesty.

Guidelines for choosing clothes
Attractive or Attracting?
Josh Harris hit the nail on the head in his book, Not Even a Hint, when he wrote that, “there is difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract."  Attractive clothing highlights your countenance instead of drawing attention to our body. Skimpy clothing is often thought as the antithesis of modesty. My husband would suggest that frumpy, baggy, and utterly outdated clothing that makes a woman look sloppy is also immodest. Modesty looks not to either of these extremes, but instead focuses on clothing that allows your inward beauty to shine.

When I take my girls shopping, I have found these modesty tests to be helpful in evaluating our clothing choices. They put some fun into the process as well. (See all 8 tests at:  Here are two examples:
Raise and Praise: As you lift up your hands, if midriff shows, out it goes.
I See London, I See France: When you bend over, is anything revealed that should stay hidden? (chest area, underwear).

Less is more
     As our culture continues down the road of blatant sensuality, modest clothing may become harder to find. Our family has come to the realization that trips to large national retail chains are usually unprofitable in our quest for modest clothing for our girls. As a result, we have modified our mindset: spending more on higher quality, but buying fewer items. Who needs an entire closet and dresser full of clothing anyway? This mindset doesn't have to break the bank either. A prime example of this would be Land’s End clothing that we purchase at Sears.

The Buck stops with Dad
     Unfortunately, most dads sit on the sidelines in regards to this area. Moms and daughters need to purposefully included dad in the decisions. See him as a coach, not an opponent. Dads will see clothing choices through the “male” perspective. Encourage him to be honest, and be willing to take back certain articles of clothing that set off a red flag in his mind. Speaking from experience, having my dad's input in my clothing choices growing up proved to be a huge blessing. His counsel helped me avoid many pitfalls that I would have unknowingly fallen into.  With these thoughts and perspectives in mind, may shopping for yourself and your daughters be an experience that you can now approach with excitement instead of trepidation.

By Kim Crawford