I had to post this. It is so funny and so true. I love it when someone can convict me and make me laugh at the same time.

How big is your but?

Right here, Right now

Someone once told me that when they died they wanted to be remembered as a woman who had a heart for God.  She wanted her children, or grandchildren, to see her Bible as an expression of her life; with all its handwritten notes, underlined passages, and scraps of papers tucked into it.  She wanted those she left behind to feel closest to her when looking through her Bible.  I thought this was wonderful.

I get so wrapped up in living a fulfilled life.  I want to live up to my potential and not squander my gifts.  I forget that my life will be measured by heaven’s definition of success, not the world’s.  A life lived for God can be lived out on a public stage; preaching, teaching, and encouraging.  A life full of Christ can easily be lived out in the quiet and behind closed doors.  No accolades are needed to measure our success.  We don’t need others to validate our self-worth in our accomplishments they can see and hear and touch.  Well, we shouldn’t need the world to validate us but so often we want it anyway.  God is patient.  We are not.  God is long-suffering.  We desire immediate gratification.  Righteousness is not immediate and is only gratifying if our focus in on heaven’s standards.  I hope that my children will look back at my life and say that I had a heart for God.

No Curriculum Needed

Teaching Wisdom isn’t about a curriculum so much as it is a goal in the back of your mind that influences what you say and do.  It requires exposure to several different disciplines: formal and informal Logic, an intentional look at what creates your Worldview, the facts and figures that make up Knowledge, and critical thinking skills for analysis and interpretation often referred to as Discernment.  I do think there is another aspect to Wisdom that isn’t one you can teach but perhaps you can cultivate it: Common Sense.  Sure, you could write a whole curriculum on each of these subjects but I don’t think you need to make it that complicated for yourself. 

School is Knowledge, Logic (hopefully), and some Worldview (for better or worse).  Discernment might be teachable in school while showing students how to do a critical analysis of a poem or interpreting the use of themes in literature.  Honestly, Discernment could just as well be learned through life experiences; asking questions to get your daughters thinking about why or how people behave the way they do.  We just need to challenge our daughters to see beyond the obvious.  Television has done us a disservice in this area.  We have become passive observers who don’t respond or think through what we see.  We can talk about the shows or movies with our daughters, especially when they start quoting an entire scene from a movie they have seen only once. 

Common Sense is one of those rare traits you get or you don’t.  If you know how to cultivate this trait, please let us know!  The best I could come up with was pointing out dangerous situations, friends, places, etc.  I would also say that teaching household chores/skills and basic financial skills, the things necessary for living a life without mom and dad, would also cultivate Common Sense. 

Mothering involves lots of conversations, discussions, and listening.  Perhaps this is why God made women such compassionate listeners and willing talkers?  This stereotype might be there for good reason.  It might also explain why all women are just a little bit ADD.  Our brains can cook dinner, soothe a toddler’s boo-boo, answer our daughters’ questions, and sort the mail.  Perhaps we aren’t doing all those things particularly well all at once, but it is necessary for us to have our attention splintered throughout our day.  This makes the task of communicating, teaching, and hearing our daughters daunting but realistic. 

Perhaps your daughters already display some natural talent in one of these areas.  Has anyone ever said that your daughter has a good head on her shoulders?  That sounds like Common Sense to me.  Have you noticed that your daughter is good at reading people, even if they are pretending?  I would call that Discernment.  A daughter that understands the importance of definitions (not to argue or negotiate with you, but how they effect understanding) or that seems to have the gift of Faith would seem to grasp the concepts of Worldview.  Do you have a daughter who loves algebra or could talk her siblings into just about anything?  I see Logic there.  Knowledge is probably the easiest to see; an accumulation of facts and figures.  However, I have often heard people describe someone strong in knowledge as having a tendency to be naïve when it comes to the other facets of Wisdom.  We need to recognize our daughters’ strengths while also encouraging them in areas they might still be weak in.

…and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts…     Exodus 31:3

Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees.  I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes.     Psalm 119:124,125

Logic:  Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made.  He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?”  Genesis 3:1

Worldview:  For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.     Hebrews 4:12,13

A Measure of Wisdom

I am a teacher.  Actually, that’s an understatement.  I home school my three children.  I tutor for a local home school group, mostly ten year olds with their moms also in the class.  I have taught a “Coming of Age” class for young girls (ages 8-14) and their moms.  I am also a Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator who teaches childbirth courses, baby care classes, and breastfeeding courses to mostly adults and some teens.  I have also trained women to become Labor Doulas as an approved instructor for a national certification organization.  I point all this out to prove to you that I have had to draw up a lesson plan or two in my day.  I can’t just walk into a room unprepared to teach; it isn’t pretty.

What does it take to come up with a lesson plan?  I usually start with my goals or the measurable objectives that my students should get from my class.  Our goal here is to teach our daughters wisdom.  Is wisdom measurable?  What is the check list that my daughters must complete to show they are wise? 

A similar question came up at a dinner party my husband and I attended around Christmas.  We were all asked, “What coming-of-age rituals or activities could your child complete for you to recognize them as an adult?”  We broke into smaller groups and discussed this question and then pooled our responses (a post for another time, “What makes a child an adult?”).  The responses had a range of survival techniques, daily household skills, academic skill levels, and different ways to show honor and integrity.  Many of the items listed came back to an adolescent with wisdom. 

If wisdom is the ability to discern the right response or action in a given situation, how can I test each daughter to see if she has learned the lessons?

• Can she explain in her own words the difference between being smart and being wise?
• Does she work to understand what people mean rather than be content with her own understanding?
• Does she see how and when to apply certain rules and when leniency is called for?
• Can she recognize when something sounds like the truth but it isn’t?  Does she know how to fact check if she is unsure, and is she willing to put in the effort to do so?
• Does she know how to ask for advice?  Is she gracious in hearing it unsolicited?
• Does she know wisdom from others when she hears it?
• Is she comfortable saying, “I don’t know,” and then going to look for the answer?
• Does she understand where wisdom comes from?  Does she believe if she is wise it comes from her own effort?

Before we get into a discussion on Absolute Truths or fallacies in Logic, I am curious what you would consider the measurable outcomes of wisdom in your daughters’ lives?  At what age do you think you should expect any of this?  I would love to hear your comments.

Even a child is known by [her] actions, by whether [her] conduct is pure and right.   Proverbs 20:11