Did you know?

This is a great video clip on the current culture and technology.  It gets very interesting in relation to how we parent at about 2:30 and 3:14 into the clip.  It is about 5 minutes long.


Can you imagine the amount of information that our daughters will be exposed to in the coming years?  Will they be prepared to process that information from a Godly perspective?

Twitter Grace

Have you become so use to certain words that they have lost their meaning?  I have noticed that I have a real aversion to using some decidedly churchy type words simply because they just don’t seem to carry any weight anymore.  I have become so desensitized to words like salvation, saved, born again, grace, Christians, sin, moral, and many others.  These poor words get thrown around left and right to the point where it gets hard to remember to take them seriously.  I can see why translations like The Message have found a niche in modern times as we struggle to reconnect with ideas that have become lost in a sea of misuse or over-use.  Christians can certainly talk the talk without walking the walk.

How do your daughters define these words?  How do we help them connect to the ideas that these important words represent?

Could you text salvation?

“God luvs u.  OMG[oodness] sinned again.  BTW He paid price 4 u 2 b rite w/Him.”

How do you twitter grace?

“So didn’t deserve it, but Big Guy came through 4 me again.Can’t believe He doesn’t hold it over my head when I sin big.So grateful 4 His luv.”

I am all for reaching out to our daughters in a language they can readily access and understand, but I hope we are still getting the message across.  I had an interesting battle of words with one of my girls yesterday.  I said she was worth the time and effort on my part to get things right; I won more of our “fights” because I worked hard to do right by her.  What she heard was me saying how great I was…hmm, nope, not what I meant.  So I asked her to look at it another way.  She is a treasure of gold to me and I don’t want to tarnish her or bend her into a shape that is not what God intended to be best for her.  She is worth so much that she deserves the best I have to offer.  I had to break her out of her pattern of thinking in order for her to hear what I truly said.

Sometimes I spell out a simple word and think that it couldn’t possibly be correct, but it is (usually).  It is the everyday stuff that we really should know and see that can become blurry and out of focus without us even realizing it.  It pays off big to check in with our daughters on what they understand about all the church-speak that gets thrown around in Sunday school or during the sermon.  Do they really get it?  I’ll be asking my kids this weekend what they think some of these words mean.  I would love to hear what faith-based words you think have lost their meanings.  Do your daughters have the same understanding of these words that you do?  Let me know in the comments section!

Risking the Impossible

I love readingOne Thousand Gifts just to get a taste of the voice and tone that Ann uses.  Here is my own take on themes found in her writing.

            What do I risk?  What do I lay out, palms open and stretched forward?  Risk means love and that I care about the consequences of loss, hurt, and pain.  Risking means giving it up and being vulnerable.  Open and undefended.

            I risk very little.  I tuck a hope in my deepest pocket.  I stash a yearning in the farthest recesses of dusty closet corners.  I hold tight, arms crossed and bound around what I love.  It’s mine.  So I hoard it, never allowing anyone else to touch it.  I’m a petulant child who won’t share her toys. 

            God calls me to give.  He wants me palms out and up, arms thrown wide, face up lit.  He wants joy in my grateful smile of vulnerability.  He wants wild abandoned trust like a child from me.  I only tentatively allow Him a glimpse into my cupped hands before snapping them closed tight to my chest.

            I risk little.  I’ll do it.  “What do I do, Lord?  What do you want me to do, God?”  His simple answer, “Let it go.  Risk losing,” is ignored while I continue to plea for something I can do to make it better.  Make it all go away.

            I refuse the cool evening breeze for fear of mosquitoes buzzing and feeding.  Though his blood was shed for me.

            I look away from young sweet faces framed after my own and focus instead on a lifeless world of intangible.  Yet he gave up being God to become on of these for me.

            What do I risk compared to God?

            Release.  Let it go.  Surrender it.  Risk it all.  He can handle the responsibility so much better than I can.  Perhaps, like Satan I am jealous of God’s ability to do all things perfectly.  Well, perfectly for Him.   But I want it to revolve around me.  Perfect becomes relative, fluid, and flowing.  I know what’s best for me.  I know my own mind, don’t I?

            But I only know the present.  The past becomes cloudy and the future is a thick fog.  I only know my place, right here where I am standing with my hand on my hips and my hips cocked to one side.  I only see what’s in front of me, through my glass frames in the spectrum of visible light.  And it goes on. My hearing, touch, smell: all of it fragmented and weak in comparison.

            My idea of best is easy and sunny and warm and joyful, and, and.  My idea of best is limited.  I am confined by “possible.”  Limited by human fault and discord.  If only I could remember that I risk so much more by holding on to my life.  Who am I and what am I capable of that I would risk not giving it all to Him who loves me more than I love myself?

            Why do I drown out His loving offers with a steady, “mine, mine, mine”?  I can claim my fragile human faults or I can embrace them.  One makes excuses then keeps on doing what I was doing before.  The other, embracing…oh, that means dropping everything I have clung to and harbored.  I have to let it all fall in order to open my arms wide and instead hold tightly to my Savior.

My Modern Day Proverbs

Benjamin Franklin probably had the book of Proverbs in mind when he added his “wit and wisdom” to Poor Richard’s Almanac.  Today these “sound bytes” of wisdom are just as well known, if not more so, than the book of the Bible they appear to mimic.  What have you heard lately that you would compile into a modern day book of Proverbs?  Here are some of my favorites (paraphrased and from various sources):

• Stop trying to be good enough on your own power.  Don’t say, “I will try harder, I will…”  A tree doesn’t try harder to make fruit.  Be obsessed with Jesus and you will become more like him.  –Dr. Mark Brown
• Be motivated by Love not by the Law.  Live with joy and freedom enough to make dour Christians question your salvation.  –Dr. Mark Brown
• Who is the first person you turn to at times of trouble?  Who is your shepherd?  Who is in control of your life?
• God can use the daily grind of life to shape us for him.
• God is so big that to grasp Him we have to see Him in three parts.
• I take my humanness with me where ever I go so how can I ever be at peace with things or places if I am not at peace with God?
• Actions sometimes need to precede emotions.  We might need to go through the motions of something and eventually the feelings will follow.  If we always wait for the feelings first we might never do the right thing (i.e. forgive, show love, show respect).
• If I focus on my children’s behavior instead of their hearts or if I “lord” over them with rules, then I teach them about power not humility.

What are some of the gems you have heard or collected over the years?

T.O.M.

Many women remember their first period.  I know, I’ve asked a lot of them.  Mind you, I don’t ask complete strangers…at least I don’t accost people in dressing rooms or on the bus.  Many women were able to tell me how old they were and what they were doing that day.  Some stories are traumatic, “I thought I was dying,” and some are blasé, “I knew what was going on and it wasn’t a big deal.”  I fall somewhere in the middle; it was memorable but not a big deal. 

However, it wasn’t long before I started to feel like my period was more of a curse than a blessing; cramps, pads vs. tampons, no white pants, etc.  The word “coverage” no longer had anything to do with sports.  There was no one factor that lead me down the Cursed path; life, education (or lack of anything but one point of view), and the attitudes of those around me all had an impact.  I continued down that path until just a couple years ago.

            My eldest daughter was coming to an age that made me realize I had to figure out how to describe body changes…even the reason for them. *sigh* Well, the latter part of that is a discussion for another day.  For today we will stick with maturing bodies. 

            I wanted a curriculum set because I am not really into reinventing the wheel if I don’t have to.   It took some looking around, some curriculums try to tackle too much and others just cover one particular aspect.  The information had to be Bible-based.  There are some good resources put out by American Girl, but they were too big on self-esteem and not big enough on a body created by God for a purpose.  Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel…(no, I’m not getting paid for this) I found what I was looking for; all the body changes with none of the, ahem, more mature topics.

            A group class was definitely a plus for this topic.  Perhaps I was lucky but we had a wonderful range of ethnicities, ages, and family traditions.  I confess that I tweaked just the tiniest bit at the curriculum.  If you ever watch me cook, I just can not leave a recipe well enough alone.  We had a ball!  And best of all, the girls were excited to some day get their period.  It is the solemn truth that every mom in that class came up to me at some point to say how much they were enjoying the material and shared something new they had learned from the class.  We scrapbooked about the uterus.  Can you get more girlie than that?

            What I really appreciated, as the teacher, was that each girl sat next to her mom.  If a young girl had a question she was encouraged to ask her mom first and then they could both ask me if mom decided it was ok.  This way some of the silly or simple questions got screened by mom and the girls got into the habit of asking their mom instead of an “expert.” 

            Another great aspect was the conversations the moms had while the daughters were listening. There were several opportunities to share stories about our first periods, shaving, buying our first bra, and other coming of age stuff.  My daughter got to hear other moms give tips and advice instead of the “mom lecture” that our daughters can smell coming from a mile away and just makes everyone feel uncomfortable.  There were certainly lots of reminders to the girls that information shared in the class was only to be talked about with other members of the class, and preferably with mom first.

            While the birds and the bees were not discussed we did watch a video that talked about the intricate details that all have to click into place within her body in order for conception to occur.  The goal wasn’t to inform the girls how pregnancy occurs so much as it was to convey why they had a menstrual cycle and how absolutely detailed and complicated God was in designing their bodies. I did check with the moms before showing the video to make sure all were comfortable with the potential questions they might get asked at home.  They all agreed and I think the moms actually got more out of the video then the girls did.

            We set up the class to run for four Thursday evenings in a row.  There was a sign up for snacks.  We had a menstrual party.  Too bad I couldn’t have had it in a red tent.

Next week, what do our daughters need to hear from us about their menstrual cycle?

Antithesis

Ideas clash.  Ideas about how to raise children clash passionately.  Just watch one mom try to explain to another why she needs to get an epidural, birth naturally, stay at home, go back to work, private school, public school, etc.  The only topic I know more volatile than raising children is religion, and if you combine the two…look out.  Life is all about the clash of ideas.  It will surround our daughters in all they do.  Our daughters need to know:

1. How to hear an idea without agreeing with it.
2. How to respect another person, and value them, without agreeing with them.
3. How to speak their own ideas clearly with love and respect, but firm conviction.
4. How to evaluate another idea based on sound logic and a biblical worldview.

In short, we need to socialize our children.  Whether your daughters attend public, private, or you home-school; we need to influence our daughters more than anyone else.  This can be difficult at a time when they are testing the waters of independence. 

One way to socialize our daughters is to think about what other adults in our daughters’ lives we can point them to?  Who can we give them permission to look to as role models?  One of the nice benefits here is that they will hear the same advice that they mistook for misguided nagging when it came from us.  My daughters want to see the world outside of our home and that is a good thing.  I want them to still have sound guidance in situations when I am not there.  The answer is to get them involved in some activities where there are other adults you know and trust.  Our girls are part of a wonderful FLL team where I know the other moms and dads are upholding the same standards and morals that we hold to at home.  I know the other parents involved and I trust their influence over my children.  I welcome it, in fact.

Another way to influence our children and show them how ideas clash (antithesis) is through reading books with them.  I just recently heard a great speaker, Leigh Bortins, say, “Books introduce antithesis safely because kids will see it first hand soon enough.”  If I read the Hunger Games books with my daughters and talk about it with them, I can walk them through the four points given up above.  I can talk them through difficult ideas presented in the story as a way to give them positive guidelines for real life situations.  The conversations can be fun Saturday morning breakfasts out or silly giggly girly manicures at home.  The same can be done with movies if you make frequent use of the pause button.  The key is to talk to our daughters, ask them questions, and give them our thoughts on the matter. 

Listen, my [daughter], to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.      Proverbs 1:8-9

My [daughter], if you accept my words and store up my commands within you…    Proverbs 2:1

My [daughter], do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.     Proverbs 3:1-2

Listen, my [daughters], to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. For I too was a [daughter] to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.                  Proverbs 4:1-3

My [daughter], pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.                      Proverbs 5:1-2

And so on…J

Get A Date

As Christian moms we tend to reject the “me time” culture we see around us.  We are constantly on for our children, in fact, our world revolves around them.  You can be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, either way you can get caught up in the myth that our children come first.  We put our faith next, hubby third, and ourselves last.

Let us examine what this teaches our children. 

• Children are a blessing or a burden (which one will depend on how your child perceives your attitude towards them).
• Raising children is incredibly time consuming.
• Your children are more important to you than your husband, their dad.
• You are not a separate individual from your children.

The ultimate lesson that your children can walk away with is that intimate relationships like that of a husband and wife are not worth working on, or that they don’t require time and effort to maintain.  Your children might see intimate relationships as equal with more common, or if you will, shallower relationships like those between co-workers.

But there is another lesson your child might learn that probably hasn’t occurred to you yet.  It comes once they observe what happens to your marriage when all your children are grown and moved out.  Without the common bond of raising children, do you and your husband have anything left to talk about?  Do you know each other anymore?  Have you moved into separate worlds?  Has a marriage turned into roommate status, or worse, even fallen apart?

What if you make the commitment to put your marriage first, what lessons does that teach your children?  You make the effort to find a reliable and safe babysitter once a month while you go out on a date with your husband.  You teach your children to wait a moment until your husband finishes his story he was telling you even though it is so much easier to ask your husband to wait (he does have more patience).  If your children were to sneak out of bed (because that never happens) what would they learn if they saw you enjoying a glass of iced-tea on the front porch swing with your husband?

My hope is that in observing my husband and my efforts to strengthen our marriage that my children learn:

·         Intimate relationships take time and effort to maintain.  My children won’t be so quick to buy into the Hollywood myth of emotional love as true love.

·         While my children will know they are the apple of our eye, they won’t think the earth revolves around them and their immediate needs.

·         Raising children takes a lot of time, love, and laughter.

·         They can one day raise children and still be their own person.

Something else amazing…the Bible backs this up. 

“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children…” Titus 2:4 (husbands come first in this list)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24  (The man and woman become one, there needs to be a connection and strong bond there)

“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.”  1 Corinthians 7:39a

“For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through is wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.  Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” 1 Corinthians 7:14 (the children are directly effected by the parents’ relationship)

Not to mention all the scripture that cites the husband as the head of the house, or scripture states that a husband’s body or a wife’s body is not their own but belongs to their spouse (not their children).

 

If you have experienced this topic in your own parenting/marriage, would you please leave a comment to share?  I think this is an important topic for moms to know.  Back me up, ladies!

Fifth Concerto

See if you can tell what book I have been rereading…

I want my girls to have balance.  I will be disappointed if they do not feel compassion and mercy for others, but I do not want them to feel that simple need is a basis for giving.  If my daughters come to believe that having a need entitles a person to their compassion then they are in danger of expecting others to do for them what they could do (with a little hard work) for themselves.

The daily wisdom of this should show in how I parent and live.  I should strive to model: a willing and joyful work ethic; frequent exercise of my mind in solving problems (not always running to a “helpful” YouTube video); an absolute trust in God to carry me through (but never to “make it easy” for me).  I need to model applying myself to helping others help themselves, but not at the expense of that person’s chance to provide for them self.  Perhaps this last one is done in giving a person the education, opportunity, and space to use their own mind and own hard work.  As much as I can see these things all at work in how I teach childbirth and my services as a doula…I fail all the time as a parent.  It is hardest to be my best for the people I love the most.

I want my daughters to learn to use their minds, not just their bodies as our “grocery store check-out line” culture would have them believe.  I do not worship Capitalism, Intelligence, or Humanity.  I worship a God who created me out of love.  He created me with a capacity to love others.  He fashioned my mind for complex thoughts.  I am created in His image; capable of wisdom and the ability to act on it.

I do not want my daughters to feel limited by their gender nor do I want them to feel a cultural compulsion to shed their feminine nature to be “productive” or to have value.  I do not want my daughters to get socialized by the Disney/Hollywood/Bestseller List notion of romance and emotional love.  I hope my daughters can view screens (TV, internet, video games) as a tool to be used in moderation, not as an escape or addiction that slowly drains them of the desire and ability to think.

My daughters are beautiful, confident, intelligent, and capable young ladies; not because I am a wonderful mother (more in spite of my parenting) but because God created them this way.  I have the task to be my best and to encourage, reward, and discipline in such a way as to nurture and grow these traits into their adulthood.

Till the End of the World

     I was told last year that I had wonderful hearing…for a seventy-year old.  Because I am not seventy years old the possible benefits of hearing aids were then explained to me; it might be better to look into getting them when I was younger, even if I didn’t quite have to have them yet.  “If you got a new DVD player, who would you want to hook it up and program it; your grandfather or one of your kids?” the nice audiologist asked me.  “Most people will answer that they would want their kids to do it because the younger generation knows so much more about current technology,” he went on to explain.  I can understand that.  It is easy for our kids because learning new technology is just part of the learning curve of life.  Our grandparents, on the other hand, are a bit more set in their ways.  (I think this was a gentler kinder way of saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”)  I was encouraged to think about getting hearing aids earlier (since it was highly likely I would need them later) so I could get use to actually hearing everyday noises.  “All of a sudden, you can hear the fridge humming, the floor boards creak, and all those other little noises that everyone else takes for granted so much that they don’t notice them.  It drives older folks nuts to unexpectedly hear all these new sounds all the time.   They have a hard time adjusting to the change.”

How are you when it comes to new technology?  Do you groan, hand the new phone to your daughter, and ask her to set your new ring tone?  Or are you the mom who sits down and is excited to play with her new toy?  How do your daughters see you in comparison to them when it comes to technology?  Are you regarded as wiser than herself? 

I have made it my business to know most of my daughters’ technology better than they do.  My girls can’t hide or delete their internet history to a point where I can’t find it.  I understand and can use more of the functions on our digital camera than my daughters.  My iPod is several generations newer than the one my children share (and that is saying something because mine is not new!).  However, I don’t know all the functions of their Nintendo DS’s nor am I better at playing the games on them.  My oldest can program her Lego Mindstorm robot with ease, and I have purposefully not learned how in order for that to be something that is done with Dad. 

I watch young girls curl their lips and sneer that they know more about the family computer than their moms do.  I see this young generation lose respect for their elders as our culture becomes less defined by the wisdom of age and more defined by knowledge of the latest and greatest.  Technology will get you ahead in life.  Our daughters see dollar signs flash in the (then) young eyes of the founders of FaceBook, Google, and Microsoft.  Our daughters see a culture that values the new fresh ideas of the young over the patient hard-work of their elders. 

I want my daughters to see me as wise in the ways of the world.  I want my daughters to come to me with questions of the heart and soul.  If they see me as “out of touch” or unable (and unwilling) to understand my cell phone; why would they come to me about cyber-bullying or the pressures of having (or not having) a FaceBook page?  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you have to be the cool parent…just the one they talk to about anything.  I do believe that our cultural reliance on technology has been a huge factor in the increasing lack of respect that youth have for their elders.

Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning.     Ecclesiastes 4:13

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.  Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.     1 Timothy 5:1-2

What Guys Think About Modesty - (Modesty Part II)

This video is a bit of a cheat on posting this week. Our family still has this flu bug. I thought it best not to subject you to my fever-induced writing. Enjoy the rest of your week and I will be back next week.

No Curriculum Needed

Teaching Wisdom isn’t about a curriculum so much as it is a goal in the back of your mind that influences what you say and do.  It requires exposure to several different disciplines: formal and informal Logic, an intentional look at what creates your Worldview, the facts and figures that make up Knowledge, and critical thinking skills for analysis and interpretation often referred to as Discernment.  I do think there is another aspect to Wisdom that isn’t one you can teach but perhaps you can cultivate it: Common Sense.  Sure, you could write a whole curriculum on each of these subjects but I don’t think you need to make it that complicated for yourself. 

School is Knowledge, Logic (hopefully), and some Worldview (for better or worse).  Discernment might be teachable in school while showing students how to do a critical analysis of a poem or interpreting the use of themes in literature.  Honestly, Discernment could just as well be learned through life experiences; asking questions to get your daughters thinking about why or how people behave the way they do.  We just need to challenge our daughters to see beyond the obvious.  Television has done us a disservice in this area.  We have become passive observers who don’t respond or think through what we see.  We can talk about the shows or movies with our daughters, especially when they start quoting an entire scene from a movie they have seen only once. 

Common Sense is one of those rare traits you get or you don’t.  If you know how to cultivate this trait, please let us know!  The best I could come up with was pointing out dangerous situations, friends, places, etc.  I would also say that teaching household chores/skills and basic financial skills, the things necessary for living a life without mom and dad, would also cultivate Common Sense. 

Mothering involves lots of conversations, discussions, and listening.  Perhaps this is why God made women such compassionate listeners and willing talkers?  This stereotype might be there for good reason.  It might also explain why all women are just a little bit ADD.  Our brains can cook dinner, soothe a toddler’s boo-boo, answer our daughters’ questions, and sort the mail.  Perhaps we aren’t doing all those things particularly well all at once, but it is necessary for us to have our attention splintered throughout our day.  This makes the task of communicating, teaching, and hearing our daughters daunting but realistic. 

Perhaps your daughters already display some natural talent in one of these areas.  Has anyone ever said that your daughter has a good head on her shoulders?  That sounds like Common Sense to me.  Have you noticed that your daughter is good at reading people, even if they are pretending?  I would call that Discernment.  A daughter that understands the importance of definitions (not to argue or negotiate with you, but how they effect understanding) or that seems to have the gift of Faith would seem to grasp the concepts of Worldview.  Do you have a daughter who loves algebra or could talk her siblings into just about anything?  I see Logic there.  Knowledge is probably the easiest to see; an accumulation of facts and figures.  However, I have often heard people describe someone strong in knowledge as having a tendency to be naïve when it comes to the other facets of Wisdom.  We need to recognize our daughters’ strengths while also encouraging them in areas they might still be weak in.

…and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts…     Exodus 31:3

Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees.  I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes.     Psalm 119:124,125

Logic:  Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made.  He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?”  Genesis 3:1

Worldview:  For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.     Hebrews 4:12,13

Where does Wisdom come from?

Oh dear, I apoligize for the lack of proof-reading today.  Allergies and busy life have slowed me down a bit. 

Where does wisdom come from?  I can teach knowledge to my daughters.  I can encourage discernment with discussions and opportunities.  Where can I get wisdom so that I can pass it on to my daughters? 

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction,” (Proverbs 1:7).

“…then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding,” (Proverbs 2:5,6).

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight,” (Proverbs 3:5,6).

“Fear the LORD and the king, my son, and do not join with rebellious officials…” (Proverbs 24:21)

I recently heard that “the Fear of the LORD” is mentioned twenty times in the book of Proverbs alone.  Repetition is a crucial part of learning something important.  The Bible makes it abundantly clear that wisdom comes from God.  I can not study enough to get it.  I can not absorb it by hanging around the right people.  I have to receive wisdom from God or it is simply my own understanding.  I can read the Bible, take a scripture reference, and apply it to a situation; however, that alone is not wisdom.  The Bible is misused all the time by those who hate it, who misunderstand it, or who seek to discredit it.  So simply reading the Bible will not make you wise anymore than going to church on Sundays makes you a Christian (I really prefer the term “believer”).  I studied all kinds of books in college.  I had to take them apart and interpret their subliminal messages.  As an English Major, I became pretty good at making a text say just about anything I wanted it to.  You don’t even want to know what one of my professors tried to convince a class about any mention of bells in Charles Dickens’s novels.  Wisdom doesn’t come from me.  Wisdom doesn’t come from reading the Bible.  Wisdom comes with the Fear of the LORD. 

What does it mean to fear the Lord?  I don’t think it means I should cower in a corner while I wait for God to smite me for my sins.  I don’t even think it means I should live in fear of fire and brimstone, because I have seen the difference it makes when my children obey me out of fear and when they obey out of respect.  Fear can make a person act a certain way, but respect includes a heartfelt trust that fear is lacking.  I believe that I should respect God for all His qualities; omniscience, omnipotence, and unconditional love for all.  If I show respect to God for these qualities then I will live with a humble affection for God’s will because I know He only wants what is best for me.  My respect, or Fear of the LORD, will be apparent in my integrity and in the choices I make. 

A pastor at our church recently did an excellent sermon on “The Healthiest Fear” if you would like to hear more on this topic. 

I can not expect to pass wisdom on to my daughters unless I can find it myself.  I can not find wisdom unless I recognize where it comes from.  The world would have us and our daughters believe that wisdom comes from many places, and that it is subjective to the individual.  We know better.  How have you lived your life this week in such a way as to model a Fear of the LORD?  Start with the smaller daily stuff; I bet there are more examples than you realize.  Were you mindful of God’s priorities when you: set your weekly schedule; planned out what to make for dinner; picked out new clothes for your daughters; did something outside your comfort zone that you knew God would be proud of?

“By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew,” (Proverbs 3:19,20).