worldly weights

I am so grateful for the opportunity to pursue this project.  I am blessed by a God that whispers in my thoughts a new idea that I had never seen before.  I am blessed by the people who have encouraged me to write and then to actually share it with the public.  I am blessed to have a husband who encourages me to give this my time and energy.  I am blessed by children who get excited when I get excited about meeting other writers (even if it is only by email).  I am so blessed.  These people all keep me going when I get discouraged.  Parenting is hard and guilt over past mistakes (or the daily ones!) can cripple you into wanting to give up.  When you add a passion, hobby, or work to the mix life can get daunting fast.  It is the community around us that can sustain us or drag us down.  I am so very blessed in the people that I have around me.  What sustains you?  What keeps you going when worldly weights pull at your joy?

To delegate or not…that is the question.

A mom’s life is so busy that we can be tempted to give more time and energy to our short-term goals, like a clean(ish) home, than to the bigger long term goals.  It is easier to do certain chores around the house myself.  I can get the job done better and faster than my children.  This frees me up for the next emergent situation or task on my list.  But I need to think it through from a long term perspective.  Imagine with me…

            Your daughter has grown into a wonderful young lady and has found the man of her dreams to marry.  There is a beautiful and very touching ceremony but it isn’t long after the honeymoon that your daughter starts calling you in tears.  Her new husband (whom you found bright and charming) doesn’t have a clue how to do his own laundry.  He looks at her like she is speaking a foreign language when she asks him to clean up the bathroom.  He doesn’t know where to start.  In fact, he kinda grumbles about any household chores.  Your daughter sobs that she feels more like his mother than his wife. 

Now in your imagination, reverse that situation.  Your future son-in-law is calling his mom up to complain about your darling daughter regarding the exact same things. 

It might be harder and more time consuming to show your daughters how to go about doing chores around the house, but in the long run they (and you) will be better off for it.  I can not imagine if I had to keep up this house, school three children, take care of shopping, cooking, writing this blog, etc. all on my own.  The American myth of Supermom who can be all things to all people is a crippling lie. 

This same short-term thinking can effect how we discipline our daughters.  Are we so caught up in stopping the immediate actions of our daughters that we discipline their behavior instead of trying to reach their hearts?  Do we ignore an annoying or rude behavior until we get so frustrated we react in anger?  There are some great books out on trying to reach a child’s heart (which will in turn change their behavior on a much more consistent basis). 

If you aren’t sure where to start or what chores it would be reasonable to expect of them, I highly recommend 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home: Household tested and proven effective! Techniques, tips, tricks, and strategies on how to get your kids to share ... become self-reliant, responsible adults by Bonnie McCullough.  She goes through what chores you could introduce based on age and ability.  She also gives different tips, motivational methods, and systems to help with problem areas you might have in your home.

We need to realize when our focus on accomplishing the short-term goals can rob our daughters of learning accountability.  Our daughters will one day be accountable to a boss, husband, church family, and more importantly, God.  It is our jobs as mothers to take that extra time to discipline their hearts or show them again and again (and again) how to do chores around the house.  We are teaching them responsibility when we do this.  You can be very knowledgeable about many things, but if you do not have responsibility then your ability to discern how and when to use that knowledge will be severely hindered. 

My [daughter], do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a [mother] the [daughter she] delights in.  Proverbs 3:11,12

In regard to a wicked man: He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.  Proverbs 5:23

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!  It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.    Proverbs 6:6-8

New Posting schedule

Since I am done with the Twilight series (for now) I will be switching my posting schedule to Tuesdays and Fridays; instead of Twilight Tuesdays it will be Fictional Friday.  I know how corny it sounds, but that kind of clichéd stuff is easy to remember.  :)

I will start this Fictional Friday by looking at the Hunger Games series.  I am looking for some kids and/or moms who have read the series.  If I could get some feedback to a couple questions I have it would help me considerably.  The thing is...I don't know a lot of teens who have read the books.  If you know of any who would be willing to help me out, please let me know!


Thank you and see you on Friday.