Breaking the rules

Rules were made to be broken.  God made the law knowing we couldn’t keep it.  To be human is to sin, which means breaking the rules.  God expected this when he handed them down. The rules, or more to the point, our propensity to break them was designed to point us back to the fact that we can’t be good enough.  We can’t get to heaven on our own.  We need God, not just to give us grace when we sin but also to give us strength to obey.

            “Barriers alone can not suppress the heart,” said our pastor this Sunday.  Our heart is our best and worst asset.  We want to obey God; our hearts long to please Him.  But it is also our heart that betrays us when the desire to be distracted or entertained by the world is stronger than our desire to be right with God.  God already set limits, or barriers to sin, for us.  We set them for ourselves too.  “After this one time, I won’t do that anymore.”  “Just this once, it isn’t like I watch/listen/read this stuff all the time.”  We tell ourselves we are going on a diet (sometimes food and sometimes from media, electronics, etc) and right away temptation finds us.  Barriers alone can not suppress our hearts.

            I shouldn’t be surprised then that rules and limits are not enough to assure obedience from my daughters.  I have to continue to work on their hearts.  Character issues are frequently called heart issues, I like that.  It gets to the root of the problem.  What are ways you reach your daughters’ hearts? 

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Hearts and Minds: Raising Your Child with a Christian View of the World

Twitter Grace

Have you become so use to certain words that they have lost their meaning?  I have noticed that I have a real aversion to using some decidedly churchy type words simply because they just don’t seem to carry any weight anymore.  I have become so desensitized to words like salvation, saved, born again, grace, Christians, sin, moral, and many others.  These poor words get thrown around left and right to the point where it gets hard to remember to take them seriously.  I can see why translations like The Message have found a niche in modern times as we struggle to reconnect with ideas that have become lost in a sea of misuse or over-use.  Christians can certainly talk the talk without walking the walk.

How do your daughters define these words?  How do we help them connect to the ideas that these important words represent?

Could you text salvation?

“God luvs u.  OMG[oodness] sinned again.  BTW He paid price 4 u 2 b rite w/Him.”

How do you twitter grace?

“So didn’t deserve it, but Big Guy came through 4 me again.Can’t believe He doesn’t hold it over my head when I sin big.So grateful 4 His luv.”

I am all for reaching out to our daughters in a language they can readily access and understand, but I hope we are still getting the message across.  I had an interesting battle of words with one of my girls yesterday.  I said she was worth the time and effort on my part to get things right; I won more of our “fights” because I worked hard to do right by her.  What she heard was me saying how great I was…hmm, nope, not what I meant.  So I asked her to look at it another way.  She is a treasure of gold to me and I don’t want to tarnish her or bend her into a shape that is not what God intended to be best for her.  She is worth so much that she deserves the best I have to offer.  I had to break her out of her pattern of thinking in order for her to hear what I truly said.

Sometimes I spell out a simple word and think that it couldn’t possibly be correct, but it is (usually).  It is the everyday stuff that we really should know and see that can become blurry and out of focus without us even realizing it.  It pays off big to check in with our daughters on what they understand about all the church-speak that gets thrown around in Sunday school or during the sermon.  Do they really get it?  I’ll be asking my kids this weekend what they think some of these words mean.  I would love to hear what faith-based words you think have lost their meanings.  Do your daughters have the same understanding of these words that you do?  Let me know in the comments section!

Sophia Wisdom

God the Father, Jesus the Bridegroom, and Holy Spirit the… role model for mothers? 

The Holy Spirit is described in the Bible as an Advocate, comforter in suffering, encourager, witness, teacher, and God’s gift to believers.  The Holy Spirit is closely associated with words, both written and spoken.  The Holy Spirit is among us and in us.  We are a temple filled with the Holy Spirit if we obey God.  You can speak against many things, but it is not forgiven if you speak against the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:10, Matt. 12:32, Mark 3:29, Acts 5:3).  Though the Holy Spirit is often used when talking about baptism, it would seem that it is also present when people hear the gospel and believe (Acts 10:44, 11:15) or when men of faith pray over believers (Acts 8: 15-17, 8:19, 19:6). 

How does any of that equate to being a role model for moms?  Sure we could go the way of the High School English paper and say something poetic about birth and water being feminine attributes.  I would like to shy away from that though because as cool as that might sound it really doesn’t help us in our daily struggle to parent. 

God has the sometimes annoying habit of being perfect.  He doesn’t say anything He doesn’t mean and He doesn’t mince words.  God gives us a clear picture of Himself as triune.  He is the Father and the bridge-groom, that much is not really up for debate.  But what to do with the Holy Spirit?  The Holy Spirit has several very feminine qualities.  “She” likes to: talk, listen, comfort, fill us with love, and bring hope.  The Holy Spirit is a nurturer who excels in interpreting the prayers we can only groan b/c we can’t find the words ourselves.  Every time the Bible says the Spirit testifies I have this image of a strong southern woman belting out, “Preach it honey, cause you know I saw it,” with her hand raised up in the air. 

There are a number of lessons we can learn from this Advocate.  I want to look at one of those today.  The Holy Spirit comes as a gift from God.  Those who are “filled with the spirit” are directly plugged in (as much as a human can be) to the Truth and Love of God.  Those are some mighty big shoes to fill.  As mothers we are the nurturers; relationships are important to us.  Connections matter and we cultivate them.  We want our daughters to get along with their siblings, their father, and especially with us.  We also need to nurture our daughters’ relationships with God, her Father in Heaven, and Jesus, her future groom.  Do we fill our daughters with a sense of dread in their obligations to religious rules and doctrine?  Or do we help “the God of hope fill [our daughters] with all joy and peace as [they] trust in him, so that [they] may overflow with hope by the power of the [our example and teaching].”

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.      Luke 10:21

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.      Romans 5:5

If Wisdom be the Food of Love...

Our world doesn’t usually equate love with wisdom.  Love makes us fools.  But a lot of that has to do with the fact that our world defines love based on feelings and emotions; not commitments or choices.  The world would have you believe that we don’t choose to fall in love.  We have no say in who we are attracted to and why; it is a chemical mystery.  I don’t agree.

Love doesn’t start with emotions.  Love starts with a choice.  I am madly, head-over-heels in love with my children.  Unconditional love.  And I chose it.  I chose them when I became pregnant and when I carried them in my womb until they were ready to be born.  I truly love my husband.  The night we met I thought he had a great smile (still does) and he could dance, but those things didn’t create an irresistible emotion that I couldn’t fight.  I choose to commit myself to him for a number of reasons, and I am very glad I did.

Wisdom and love go extremely well together.  Wisdom gives us perspective in love.  It helps us to see the choices and to love well.  I can love someone poorly.  Enmeshment, co-dependence, promiscuity, abusive relationships.  All these are examples of love without wisdom.  God is all loving.  God is all knowing. (He is all powerful too, but that is another post on another day.) Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (I John 4:7-9).  God is holy, righteous, merciful, … and love.

In the Bible, you can find plenty of examples of wise and unwise ways to love.  For practicality let’s stick with the examples of God’s love for us. 

Because God loves us:

• He disciples us (Proverbs 3:11-12 if you don’t believe disciple comes from love)
• He protects us
• He allows us free will
• He sacrifices for us
• He forgives and has mercy on us through Christ

Love makes us into fools?  Well, the world was told that the wisdom of God would seem foolish to those who chose not to believe.  God is love.  I chose God.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:7-9

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
Matthew 22:36-38

Mastermind Yaya

…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.                   Philippians 4:8

            The Bible is pretty clear that we are to distance ourselves from sin while at the same time draw nearer to God.  These days, I feel like I would have to drag my family off to live in a cave in some remote corner of the world in order to escape worldly influences.  Even then I would probably get some salesman on my door trying to sign me up for their cable/internet package.   Steering clear of sin is hard.  And that isn’t even taking into account the weakness of my own flesh and desires; greed, jealousy, anger, etc. 

            But the Bible offers hope too.  We are not without our weapons (Eph. 6:13-17).  We are not fighting alone (Luke 11:13).  We do not have to listen to what the world says either.  Philippians 4:8 can be applied to many areas of our life, but let’s take a look at what it has to offer when it comes to our menstrual cycle. 

            I heard a statistic some time ago (and I can not for the life of me remember where) that found that young girls who were raised to call their private parts by “silly” or nonsensical names, as opposed to their proper names, were more likely to be abused or taken advantage of sexually.  They theorized that the use of nonsensical names carried with it the idea of a joke or something funny.  After all, it’s so cute when little kids say “yaya” or “woohoo.”  The purpose of jokes is to share them and make others laugh.  The girls who grew up hearing and using the proper names for their private parts did not view them as funny or something to be shared; therefore it was reasoned, they were less likely to feel comfortable with situations or people that treated their bodies in this regard.  If they felt uncomfortable they were more likely to tell a trusted adult or simply walk away very early on.  What does this have to do with Philippians 4:8?  Well, how do you talk about your feminine nature, menstrual cycle, and God-created body?

            God calls us to master our thoughts, something MbHD does a wonderful job of addressing.  Many of us grown women did not receive a comprehensive education on our reproductive organs.  We know the basics.  We know that hormones are involved and the names of most of the organs involved.  Human beings have a tendency to fear or make fun of what we don’t understand.  If we don’t know the names for individual parts of our body, or we fear saying them in public, we might make up nonsensical names for them.  But if we continue on that path of ignorance/fear then we will quickly buy into the idea that our feminine nature, and body, is a curse.  It is a very short step from being cursed to being the victim. 

            Satan would love for us to see ourselves as victims of God’s cruel creation.  We are cursed with femininity.  It breaks my heart just to type those sentences.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139: 14).  We are blessed with these bodies.  We are blessed in our femininity.  True, there will be pain and suffering in life and that includes our menstrual cycle (some of us more than others).  But if we see ourselves as being cursed then we miss out on these opportunities to draw closer to God.  We miss out on seeing His strength in our weakness.

Blood and Guts

            “Just the facts, ma’am.”  What do our daughters need to hear from us about their menstrual cycle?  Simple facts of chemistry and biology, yes.  Well, what does the world tell our daughters about their maturing body?  If you simply Google you will find lots of cold hard fact mixed with all the “what-if’s,” pain relief options, and possible complications.  You won’t find anything that ties a woman’s femininity to her cycle.  Only women get periods yet there is this glaring omission in the information that is presented. 

One of the key reasons for this omission is that God is left out of the discussion.  God created our bodies and He created this process.  He didn’t create the menstrual cycle to frustrate us or hinder us (from swimming, wearing white pants, etc.).  God created this intricate process as a fundamental part of what makes us different from men; our femininity.  Women, not men, have babies.  God created our menstrual cycle for a purpose, to conceive and bear children.  “Be fruitful and multiply..” 

This is a blessing!  We get to take part with God in creating new life.  Even Christ had an earthly mother.  Our menstrual cycles are not a curse we are forced to endure.  You don’t have to have a lengthily discussion on the birds-and-bees to share with your daughter the blessings that her womb was designed for.  One of the things I really liked about the MbHD curriculum was the video that talked about how detailed God was in creating the process of conception that goes on within just the woman’s body. 

Our daughters need to hear from us that blood is not gross.  Ok, that one might take some work for some of us.  Try looking up all references to blood in the Bible.  Blood is cleansing.  We were bought out of slavery by the blood of Christ.  Blood is life. How do you react to blood around your daughter?  Fearful and squeamish over gushing head wounds?  Yea, me too.  But when it comes to the slow and gentle welling of blood in a deep scrap it might help if we take the time to explain that blood is cleaning the wound and delivering all kinds of good stuff to the troubled area.  We have been conditioned to see blood as gross and a sign of danger.  Our daughters will not learn any different if we do not lead the way.

One of the topics that all the moms in my class commented on was how often options they had never thought of before were discussed; like cloth pads, Keepers, Cups, and sponges.  We discussed the roles of proper nutrition and simple herbs like red raspberry leaf tea.  We also discussed charting.  Everyone, mom and daughter, walked out of class knowing how to chart their cycle.  This might seem like something only those trying to conceive might be interested in, but there is more value to it then just that.  There are some very handy apps these days for charting and predicting when your next period will start, but they are computer programs that are capable of error just like humans.  If you have a good understanding of the phases of your cycle and can chart them out, you can plan not just for when your period will start but also when to consume more iron, water, or that tea we talked about.  I admit, I like tea.

Next week: The Fear-Curse-Victim approach

Tuitty Fruitty

        Love

        Joy

        Peace

        Patience

        Kindness

        Goodness

        Faithfulness

        Gentleness

        Self-Control

            The fruits of the Spirit have nothing to do with apples, peaches, or even tomatoes (yes, they are a fruit).  The above list from Paul, in Galatians 5:22, is made to contrast our preference for our human desires; which Paul lists as the “acts of the flesh,” (Galatians 5:19).  The evidence of good fruits in our lives is supposed to be a confirmation of our appreciation of Christ’s sacrifice for us.  Human beings can not read each others’ minds.  We have to rely on some outward actions and attitudes to understand where a person’s heart is at.

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance [says John the Baptist].    Matthew 3:8

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?  Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.    Matthew 7:16-20

            So if we are to be recognized by our fruit, I thought it would be appropriate to see what fruit I could find some of the fiction I have been going through on the blog.  Since I have been avoiding writing about The Hunger Games series I should start with that one first.  I’ll give you my take on the first four this week.  Please feel free to leave comments disagreeing with me.  I would love to hear if you see more to this story than I do!

Love:

            Lots of unrequited love in this series, as well as, doomed lovers who are pulled apart or killed.  But this is a dystopia novel, there is bond to be more hurt, anger, and sadness than love.  Does love win out in the end?  Are there any good role models for Love?  Peeta could be argued as a good role model for Love, but even he is twisted and broken in this department by the last book.

Joy: 

Ok, dystopia novel…joy is pretty slim here too.  Most joyful situations are bittersweet; such as when Peeta and Katniss try to honor Rue’s district and it only ends up getting many people in the district killed. 

Peace:

            Peace-makers are nonexistent is a story whose plot is driven by fighting.  We don’t even know if Katniss’s final act of violence produced a government of peace.

Patience:

            As far as a “peace that passes all understanding” there is a lot of waiting, a sort of hunter’s patience, if you will.  Peeta demonstrates patience in his love for Katniss.  Haymitch shows patience in his strategy. 

           

When does Aunt Flo visit?

Menstrual cycle, there I said it.  Period.  Aunt Flo.  “That time of the month.”  The Curse.  How, when, and where do you discuss this with your darling little girl?  If you wait too long she could hear about it from friends or worse yet, start her menstrual cycle and think something is seriously wrong.  But you don’t want to jump the gun and give her the information so soon that she can’t really understand it or appreciate what you are sharing with her. 

The average age for a young lady to begin her period has been decreasing over time; it seems to be anywhere between 11-14 at this point.  Body mass and heredity can both effect when our daughters get their first period.  Our pediatrician shared with us that when a girl gets breast buds, the clock starts ticking for her first menstrual cycle to appear; within 18 months.  Even before breast buds your daughter might need to start using deodorant when she is active, or not, if you prefer eau de armpit in scaring the boys away.

While it might be awfully tempting to leave this lovely life lesson until the last minute, please think about what this communicates to your daughter. 

• Menstrual Cycles are shameful (because we don’t talk about them unless we have to and only in whispers when we do.)
• Your body is broken/gross (because you have “shameful” menstrual cycles.)
• The time of your menstrual cycle typically called your “period” is not positive or feminine (because we hide it even from other women if we can and only talk about it negatively when we do share about it.)
• You have no control of this negative process (therefore I had nothing to educate you about concerning it) so just grab a pad/tampon, a Midol, and wait it out.

Obviously, I don’t believe these things to be true or I wouldn’t be writing about it.  So I want to encourage you to check out Maidens by His Design (MbHD).  I loved this curriculum and have even taught it as a group class once.  I wanted to give you a chance to look up this resource before talking more about educating our daughters on this topic next week.  We did use the Passport to Purity curriculum, but we used it after going through MbHD.  Take a look.  Share what you used with your daughters, if you dare [insert evil laugh here], because we need to talk about this together in order to undo the negative influences that we have been bombarded with over the years.  

Servitude

I am teaching at a conference where I have had the privilege of listening to a excellent speaker the last couple of days.  She brought up a great quote from Harriet Tubman, “I have freed thousands of slaves.  I would have freed thousands more…had they known they were slaves.”  What a simple and convicting thing to say.  What makes this such a great quote is how true this is of so many things.  We are mastered either by the world or by Christ; we are slaves.  We might like to think that we are the masters of our own destiny, the captain of our own ship.  The truth is we are not in control.  We will either be ruled by the culture around us or by the book that guides us.  I hope that book is the Bible. 

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?  But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.                           Romans 6:16-18

So, you know you are a slave to Christ…how did you figure this out?  Did you wake up one day, having never opened a Bible or heard a word about God, and decide to surrender your own will over to God?  Probably not.  You heard.  You listened.  You learned.  You grew wise.  We like to talk about the freedom in Christ, but are we willing to talk to our daughters about the servitude and surrender?  If we don’t tell them (again and again and again) they will never hear.  If we don’t educate them they will never learn.  If we do not whisper what the Bible says in their ear on a constant basis then they will never grow wise. 

It is up to us to lead by example.  We must swallow our pride and admit we are slaves.

No Curriculum Needed

Teaching Wisdom isn’t about a curriculum so much as it is a goal in the back of your mind that influences what you say and do.  It requires exposure to several different disciplines: formal and informal Logic, an intentional look at what creates your Worldview, the facts and figures that make up Knowledge, and critical thinking skills for analysis and interpretation often referred to as Discernment.  I do think there is another aspect to Wisdom that isn’t one you can teach but perhaps you can cultivate it: Common Sense.  Sure, you could write a whole curriculum on each of these subjects but I don’t think you need to make it that complicated for yourself. 

School is Knowledge, Logic (hopefully), and some Worldview (for better or worse).  Discernment might be teachable in school while showing students how to do a critical analysis of a poem or interpreting the use of themes in literature.  Honestly, Discernment could just as well be learned through life experiences; asking questions to get your daughters thinking about why or how people behave the way they do.  We just need to challenge our daughters to see beyond the obvious.  Television has done us a disservice in this area.  We have become passive observers who don’t respond or think through what we see.  We can talk about the shows or movies with our daughters, especially when they start quoting an entire scene from a movie they have seen only once. 

Common Sense is one of those rare traits you get or you don’t.  If you know how to cultivate this trait, please let us know!  The best I could come up with was pointing out dangerous situations, friends, places, etc.  I would also say that teaching household chores/skills and basic financial skills, the things necessary for living a life without mom and dad, would also cultivate Common Sense. 

Mothering involves lots of conversations, discussions, and listening.  Perhaps this is why God made women such compassionate listeners and willing talkers?  This stereotype might be there for good reason.  It might also explain why all women are just a little bit ADD.  Our brains can cook dinner, soothe a toddler’s boo-boo, answer our daughters’ questions, and sort the mail.  Perhaps we aren’t doing all those things particularly well all at once, but it is necessary for us to have our attention splintered throughout our day.  This makes the task of communicating, teaching, and hearing our daughters daunting but realistic. 

Perhaps your daughters already display some natural talent in one of these areas.  Has anyone ever said that your daughter has a good head on her shoulders?  That sounds like Common Sense to me.  Have you noticed that your daughter is good at reading people, even if they are pretending?  I would call that Discernment.  A daughter that understands the importance of definitions (not to argue or negotiate with you, but how they effect understanding) or that seems to have the gift of Faith would seem to grasp the concepts of Worldview.  Do you have a daughter who loves algebra or could talk her siblings into just about anything?  I see Logic there.  Knowledge is probably the easiest to see; an accumulation of facts and figures.  However, I have often heard people describe someone strong in knowledge as having a tendency to be naïve when it comes to the other facets of Wisdom.  We need to recognize our daughters’ strengths while also encouraging them in areas they might still be weak in.

…and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts…     Exodus 31:3

Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees.  I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes.     Psalm 119:124,125

Logic:  Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made.  He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?”  Genesis 3:1

Worldview:  For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.     Hebrews 4:12,13

Where does Wisdom come from?

Oh dear, I apoligize for the lack of proof-reading today.  Allergies and busy life have slowed me down a bit. 

Where does wisdom come from?  I can teach knowledge to my daughters.  I can encourage discernment with discussions and opportunities.  Where can I get wisdom so that I can pass it on to my daughters? 

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction,” (Proverbs 1:7).

“…then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding,” (Proverbs 2:5,6).

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight,” (Proverbs 3:5,6).

“Fear the LORD and the king, my son, and do not join with rebellious officials…” (Proverbs 24:21)

I recently heard that “the Fear of the LORD” is mentioned twenty times in the book of Proverbs alone.  Repetition is a crucial part of learning something important.  The Bible makes it abundantly clear that wisdom comes from God.  I can not study enough to get it.  I can not absorb it by hanging around the right people.  I have to receive wisdom from God or it is simply my own understanding.  I can read the Bible, take a scripture reference, and apply it to a situation; however, that alone is not wisdom.  The Bible is misused all the time by those who hate it, who misunderstand it, or who seek to discredit it.  So simply reading the Bible will not make you wise anymore than going to church on Sundays makes you a Christian (I really prefer the term “believer”).  I studied all kinds of books in college.  I had to take them apart and interpret their subliminal messages.  As an English Major, I became pretty good at making a text say just about anything I wanted it to.  You don’t even want to know what one of my professors tried to convince a class about any mention of bells in Charles Dickens’s novels.  Wisdom doesn’t come from me.  Wisdom doesn’t come from reading the Bible.  Wisdom comes with the Fear of the LORD. 

What does it mean to fear the Lord?  I don’t think it means I should cower in a corner while I wait for God to smite me for my sins.  I don’t even think it means I should live in fear of fire and brimstone, because I have seen the difference it makes when my children obey me out of fear and when they obey out of respect.  Fear can make a person act a certain way, but respect includes a heartfelt trust that fear is lacking.  I believe that I should respect God for all His qualities; omniscience, omnipotence, and unconditional love for all.  If I show respect to God for these qualities then I will live with a humble affection for God’s will because I know He only wants what is best for me.  My respect, or Fear of the LORD, will be apparent in my integrity and in the choices I make. 

A pastor at our church recently did an excellent sermon on “The Healthiest Fear” if you would like to hear more on this topic. 

I can not expect to pass wisdom on to my daughters unless I can find it myself.  I can not find wisdom unless I recognize where it comes from.  The world would have us and our daughters believe that wisdom comes from many places, and that it is subjective to the individual.  We know better.  How have you lived your life this week in such a way as to model a Fear of the LORD?  Start with the smaller daily stuff; I bet there are more examples than you realize.  Were you mindful of God’s priorities when you: set your weekly schedule; planned out what to make for dinner; picked out new clothes for your daughters; did something outside your comfort zone that you knew God would be proud of?

“By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew,” (Proverbs 3:19,20).

Wisdom's vitality

Wisdom is expensive.  It costs you something to become wise; perhaps a comfort or something you were use to having or doing.  Yet how often do we get on our knees and pray “Lord, give me your wisdom,” not really understanding that cost?  I am sure I could stuff myself full of knowledge.  I could fill my children's heads with facts and figures.  I can ensure that they have a lexicon of scripture from which to draw.  None of these things alone will bring wisdom. 

What is Wisdom?  Why is it so vital that my daughter has it?

Wisdom is the ability to discern, use good judgment, be perceptive, be insightful, truly understand, see the big picture, see through to the heart of the matter, sift through the lies, use logic, and think objectively.

Without wisdom our daughters would:

• believe any telemarketer or commercial
• fall prey to worldly predators (and teenage boys too!)
• lose themselves in the Hollywood dream of what romance looks like
• be labeled naive and gullible
• basically get crushed by the world

I imagine you have already had opportunity to discuss with your daughter that, "No, the toy doesn't really do that when you get it home.  They just make it look that way in the commercial so you will want to buy it."  But have you had the conversation that starts out, "I would love to know what you think of [insert latest best-marketed book here]," and been prepared with some revealing questions you could ask when your daughter mumbles, "I dunno,"? 

Wisdom is necessary for daily life, not just for shopping and figuring out boys.  Wisdom is the choices you make about the little daily stuff when no one is looking.  But wisdom doesn't just happen.  The thing is, you have to go looking for wisdom and it's a life-long journey.  Becoming wise can't be an afterthought. 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.   Proverbs 4:23

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.    James 1:5

...for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; ³ for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair; ⁴ for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young— ⁵ let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance— ⁶ for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.    Proverbs 1:2-6