Did you know?

This is a great video clip on the current culture and technology.  It gets very interesting in relation to how we parent at about 2:30 and 3:14 into the clip.  It is about 5 minutes long.


Can you imagine the amount of information that our daughters will be exposed to in the coming years?  Will they be prepared to process that information from a Godly perspective?

I had to post this. It is so funny and so true. I love it when someone can convict me and make me laugh at the same time.

How big is your but?

just a touch of Fahrenheit 451

I had a very vivid nightmare the other night.  The plot of the dream was strikingly similar to that of the Hunger Games, but it involved my own children. 

I have to admit that I really do not care for the Hunger Games Trilogy.  All this time, I have tried so hard not to be biased against the books.  Many people liked the series and I wanted to give them a chance.  In truth, I can’t wait to have them out of my house. 

Not many books can affect me enough to give me nightmares.  I use to have reoccurring nightmares as a child.  If I wrote them out I could put Stephen King out of business.  So I consider myself pretty tough in the nightmare department.  This particular dream had me in tears.  Needless to say, I have decided that I need to officially let go of the books and stop writing about them.  

I am looking for a new series of books to begin writing about and I am open to suggestions.  Though I would appreciate no suggestions that involve children sacrificing themselves for each other or for the sport of others. 

For those of you who were so anxious for me to write about this series, I am very sorry. 

Compare and Contrast

I am in awe of some of the women’s blogs I read.  They sound so together; baking bread, sewing their own clothes, individual time with each of their children, and the list goes on.  I’m not there yet.  In fact, I will probably never be one of those women.  My kids are on one screen or another on a daily basis.  They might watch TV or play on the Wii or the computer.  We eat fast food probably once a week, (gasp!) sometimes more.  I like watching some of the old cartoons like Voltron and Thundercats with my kids.  I’m very human.

I am also learning not to compare myself to those women who do seem to have it all together.  I try not to wish for a different house, metabolism, or the ability to play dolls.  The Bible has a name for that: covet.  When I compare myself to others it will only lead to jealousy or a false sense of pride.  Neither of those will do me any good.  I must learn to be content with where God has me.  I must learn to walk that fine line of being content with who I am while still striving to become more like Christ.  Have you noticed how much of our Christian walk is learning to embrace peace/joy while being mindful of our own depraved nature?

How do I teach these things to my daughters when I still struggle with them so often?  I can’t claim to be the expert on becoming Christ-like.  I can do two things though.  First, I can let my daughters see me struggle and model for them by turning to God when the going gets tough.  Second, I can continue to point them to the scriptures when life gets tough for them.  This second one requires me to already be doing the first; I can’t point my daughters to scriptures that will help them if I am not in the Bible myself enough to know some scripture that might be helpful.  I know where wisdom comes from: Fear of the Lord.  I need to look to God alone for my contentment.  I need to compare myself to Christ (as depressing as that may be), not to other women in the world. 

When I am happiest and the more content, I am in balance.  I can grasp at that peace that passes all understanding while knowing how far from perfect I am.

…for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.  Proverbs 8:11

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves.  When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.   2 Corinthians 10:12

Each one should test their own actions.  Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.  Galatians 6:4,5

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.  Romans 7:25

To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy- to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.  Jude 1:24,25

Commenting

I'm trying to add my own comments and thanks to those that have posted...not having much luck with it though.  For some reason blogspot can't decide what my userid is and sets me off in a perpetual cycle of signing in. 
I am working on it.  But I wanted to thank those of your who have left comments.  They are greatly appreciated!  I created this blog to interact with more readers and I love hearing from you all.

Thank you!

Mae Culpa

I had a plan for what to write about today.  I really did.  But a friend came up to me this last week and joked that my blog posts were convicting enough to make her feel like she was failing; she needs to delegate chores, learn something new for herself, and make time to go out with her husband.  I have had opportunity to get to know this family over the past two years and this mom is doing a wonderful job!  Her kids are polite, very knowledgeable, and get along well with others.  This mom is hospitable and always seems to have an uncluttered home.  (Bet she is blushing a bit right now, but it is true.)  I vacillated between feeling bad that I could make such a woman feel inadequate and laughing that once I again I had “labeled” someone as one of those women who have it all together just to find out that is not how they see themselves.

Then I had the idea to post some pictures of my messy house but it was my hubby’s birthday this weekend and the house is pretty clean because we had guests.   I wouldn’t want to give you the wrong idea with pictures of my uncluttered home.  Usually my home is a mess!  I fail on a daily basis; frequently by the hour, and sometimes by the minute.  I can’t sit here and type to you all the answers on raising our daughters to be wise enough because I am still going through this struggle with you. 

My oldest daughter informed me that I needed to make more mistakes.  She mumbled through her tears that I was always right and she was too frustrated with me to listen.  I could have taken this in a most exalted of fashions.  Ha ha, you admit I am smarter than you so you remember this next time I tell you to do something you don’t want to do!  Instead my first thought (thank you, Lord) was to feel shame.  I mess up all the time.  I get it wrong.  I lose my temper.  I don’t want to get down on my knees and play imaginary games with action figures.  I hide in my computer screen instead of reading out loud to my kids.  I miss opportunities to pray. 

I felt ashamed that I was so good at explaining my sins away.  I felt bad that I was so fallen yet so revered by my most astute child.  I get away with it.  I have managed to hide many of my sins from my children.  That isn’t necessarily a good thing.  I don’t want them to think that my fallen behavior is normal or something to aspire to.  I want my daughters to forgive my mistakes but to try to rise above them in such a way that they are better mothers than I have been. 

I don’t think I am a bad mom.  I hope I get it right often enough to be a really good mom, but I am not perfect.  I don’t glow in the dark.  I can’t walk on water.  I want my daughters to see these imperfections and love me in spite of them.  I want my daughters to experience giving unconditional love. 

We all wear masks in our daily life.  The masks change depending on the people we are with, but they are there.  Our masks are the lies we tell ourselves and the assumptions we want others to make about us.  God sees through all this to the heart.  You will fail…it is unavoidable.  But we have a perfect Christ who forgives our failures.  We don’t have to walk on water because he already did it for us.  We have to trust in him and do our best to learn from our mistakes and pick ourselves up when we fail.  So that is my post for today, mistakes and all.

What Guys Think About Modesty - (Modesty Part II)

This video is a bit of a cheat on posting this week. Our family still has this flu bug. I thought it best not to subject you to my fever-induced writing. Enjoy the rest of your week and I will be back next week.

Poetic Post

 I have been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp with a wonderful group of ladies and I am really enjoying it.  I love the prose style that she writes in, so as a tribute I thought I would show you what my writing style is like when I am not working so hard to be concise and coherent.

           

Some days it is easier to get held down in my failure, to give in to the incompetence, and chalk it all up as lost.  Failed.  Human.  Incapable of the task.  I forget that it isn’t about me and my ability.  I forget that I was not made to accomplish glory on my own.  So I lose myself in the long list of my short-comings and bemoan my poor children’s luck.  Back luck in genetics (they never had a chance with my genes).  I take the blame.  I swallow the lie and Satan reels me in.  Not good enough.  Not faithful enough.  Not enough.  It sits in my stomach and festers.  The lie of self; independence.

            But I am not self-sufficient.  I do not need to claim independence as my mantra.  I am dependent on God.  I was made incomplete.  I was made insufficient in patience, mercy, and knowledge.  I will not ever be wise enough on my own power.

            Strangely, the truth is harder to swallow than the lie.  I am tentative to taste it.  I even choke a bit as it slides down my throat; my body’s natural reaction of rejection.  But it soothes my stomach as it settles into me.  The truth is calming.  This is a center.  It gives me a new focal point for balancing my life.  Stop focusing on myself and focus on Him.  I am not the center.

            I am exactly as God made me to be.  I can not do this without Him.  The truth that I am not good enough is a release.  I can let go of guilt, luck, pity, insecurities, shame.  I can continue knowing that I will fall, but never fail.  Falling will only bring me to my knees.  I can risk giving because I know the truth.  My role is to partner with God; to ask, and listen, and receive.

            I can risk loving and trying because I know God is capable of anything, even using me to raise these wonderful children.

And a poem I wrote for my mom when my eldest was about a year old.

This is a whole new kind of love.

It is unlike any other type of love I have ever felt.

And how do I express this love to her?

How can I impress upon her young mind the depth and height of my love?

The words, as of yet, hold no tangible meaning to her

My gifts, my sacrifices she cannot yet appreciate.

Somehow, in the depths of her nature, she knows.

She desires my smiles, hangs on my words, and revels in my physical presence.

One day I will hold her close and whisper to her that I love her so much I would do anything for her.

And she will still not grasp the entirety of my love.

She will only understand when one day she holds her own child tightly in her arms.

Thank you Mom, I think I am beginning to understand.

Protect and Prepare

Raising children is a strange mix of heart wrenching guilt because you feel you haven’t done enough and a heady exhaustion from the incredible amout of time and energy that you have already put into your children.  Parenting is a study of contradictions and fine lines.  As a mom I need to protect my daughter from raw unfiltered corruption in life until at some magical age (which is…?) I gradually expose her to filtered bits and pieces in such a way as to prepare her to deal with the raw unfiltered fullness she will encounter once she heads out into the “real world.”   I know I am not alone in sometimes, ahem, frequently feeling overwhelmed by the task.

We moms are continually working on multiple character traits in our children all at the same time.  We want to work on building their self-confidence so once they have wisdom they have the confidence to use it.  We want to work on their walk with God so when they are ready to establish their independence from us they transition to a dependence on God instead of getting lost in a worldly sense of independence from all but self.

I realized that I was working on so many character traits and daily little battles with my daughters that I was getting lost in the task and becoming that kind of mom that scares their daughters' friends away.  So to simplify my life and theirs right now, I think that I will be focusing on wisdom primarily.  If I can focus on equipping them to make good choices, discern what is truly good advice, to appreciate correction, and to recognize fools; that will carry over into honesty, integrity, work ethic, compassion, and so many other areas. 

I do not plan to let my daughters read whatever book they think looks interesting, nor can they listen to any music they choose.  I am selective about what topics I discuss with my daughters and am selective in the places and people I expose them to as a result of this.  However, I do plan to slowly and surely allow them to see the world around them in its gritty visceral beauty.  God created this earth.  God created the people in it.  I want my daughters to love all of God’s creation.  I also want them to see it clearly.  They do not have to condone or conform to the world. 

To accomplish this heady goal I will be their guide as I eventually show them books I would be happy if they never read and discuss topics that will make them cry or shiver with confusion.  I will give them the space, freedom, and counter arguments to question my beliefs, knowing that they might choose to one day reject them, so they can hopefully own those beliefs themselves instead of living on my borrowed faith with none of their own.  But before I do any of those things, I will make sure they are wise.  If I expose them too soon or before they have the tools of discernment, it will avail them nothing.

We walk a fine line of protecting our children until they are ready to be prepared.  I have been protecting my daughters, but I am ready now to plan out how I will prepare them.  Are you?  I would love to hear what your plan is.

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, ¹⁴ for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. ¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.  Proverbs 3:13-15

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  Proverbs 22:6