Dagny O'Hara

At first glance you might not see many similarities between the girly, man-obsessed Scarlett O’Hara, from Gone with the Wind, and the no-nonsense business woman Dagny Taggart of Atlas Shrugged.  Both books are incredibly long by modern day standards.  Despite the length of each book I think it would make an excellent study to compare the two. 

Today I wanted to put forward similarities between these two strong female leads.  There are some similarities that differ in the details; for example, both women love married men but both do not have affairs with them.  Dagny has a physical relationship with Henry Rearden.  Scarlett loves and pines after Ashley Wilkes.  The circumstances of each woman’s relationship with a married man are different but the consequent themes of love and marriage within each book become quite analogous.  That two characters can be so alike and yet so opposing is a testament to the core values that each book puts forward.

           

Both are:

• Confident in their gifts/abilities.
• Not afraid to do what it takes to get the job done.
• Not typically beautiful but stunning anyway. 
• High interest in making money.
• Neither one is able to understand the men around her who can actually see reality and who truly understand her (Dagny-John Galt/Francisco d’Anconia, Scarlett-Rhett Butler).
• Neither understands or agrees with the ruling class’s philosophy.
• Are rebels.
• Are seen as doing a man’s work (and doing it too well for a woman).
• Don’t stay where society tries to make them stay.
• Don’t find true love until the end of the story.
• Are vocal about their views of the world.
• Reject God and rely on self.
• Are able to shrug off society’s disapproval (self-confidence).
• More interested in work then children (reject the traditional female role).
• Feel a connection to a certain part of land.
• Measures success by productivity.
• Has a funny name by today’s standards. J
• Misunderstood by their sibling/s even though they are taking care of them.
• Neither feels a need to hide their distaste with pretty speech, they say what they mean or don’t speak at all.
• Have “impure” relations with married men who turn out not to be their true love.
• Both their True Loves are just as outspoken and “anti-society” as they are.

Next week:  The themes of love and romance in both books.  Yes, there is romance in Atlas Shrugged.

Gone with Atlas?

I just finished reading Gone with the Wind, and it gave me a lot to think about.  The strangest thought was to wonder if Ayn Rand ever read Gone with the Wind?  I need to think more about it but I will let you know more by next Friday. 
My first thought is that Gone with the Wind takes the Lord's name in vain at least 15-20 times.  That is enough for me to hesitate recommending it to young teens. 

Let you know more next Friday.

Fantasy Fiction

     I happen to be a Fantasy Fiction buff, and it seems that I have passed this on to at least one of my children.  My youngest will sit relatively still for an hour if I read any Sherlock Holmes aloud.  I don’t think he gets it all because I read the original text, but we found his fiction niche.  It’s nice that I can enjoy the book too.  I don’t mind Babar or George or Madeline; but I appreciate getting to read something with words I occasionally have to look up. 

           

            It can be difficult to find Fantasy books that do not conflict with Christian values.  C.S. Lewis and Tolkien are two masters of creating a world with different laws of nature and reality yet still operating within a framework of God’s sovereign existence.  There are some modern day authors who have done a great job of this also. 

Madeleine L’Engle:  Ok, so she’s a contemporary of Lewis and Tolkien.  But I can’t tell you how often I mention this amazing woman to be met with, “I completely forgot about her!”  Her Wrinkle in Time series can get a bit emotionally and spiritually dark in places.  The science of worm-holes and travel around the universe could possibly make a young reader’s head spin, but she is absolutely a must read if you have a daughter who likes science!  The only book of hers that I offer up with a caution is Many Waters; intimate relationships and hormonal chemistry might be better left for older audiences.

Chuck Black:  The Kingdom Series is a great read and the bonus is that the series parallels the Bible from Genesis through to Revelation.  My biggest complaint with Black is that he only has one book featuring a female lead, Lady Carliss.  The books are probably written for boys, but I know plenty of girls who have enjoyed his strong female characters throughout the books.

R.K. Mortenson:  While The Landon Snow series is probably my least favorite that I am listing today, it is my eldest’s favorite.  The characters are quirky and very off-the-wall.  The books are an easy read and can be found at our local library.  Each book uses character lessons to bring main character Landon closer in his relationship with the “Auctor.”

Jerry B. Jenkins and Chris Fabry:  The Wormling series is my favorite on this list.  The authors manage to create a character who grows from boyhood into adulthood, with plenty of conflict that doesn’t hinge on the usual teenage angst.  The Biblical parallels are pretty obvious but very well written.

G.P. Taylor: The Dopple Ganger Chronicles is a graphic novel series up to three books now.  All my kids love them.  These beautiful books center around identical twin girls and their side-kick friend.  The girls are real trouble-makers but also have good hearts.  Some people might not like that angels (some female) appear to the girls to deliver the spiritual morals in a ghost-like form. 

The Miller Brothers:  When I first starting The Codebreaker series featuring Hunter Brown I was not impressed, but the ending really redeemed what worried me.  My original thought was that the authors were glorifying the main character’s typical teenage attitude and behaviors.  In the end of the first book though, there is a very nice twist that shows Hunter the problems with the path he has been walking.  This series is not finished yet either, but my daughter is so excited with each new one that comes out.

Christopher Paolini:  The final book of the Eragon series will be out this November!  The eldest and I are very excited to read it.  In fact, I think that she has re-read the series as it stands more than she has re-read any other book.  Hmm, maybe this one is her favorite?  Words have power in these books; magical power if that is a problem for you.  The question of a Higher Power is raised in the books by some of the characters, and the origins of these words of power are discussed but no real answers are offered up as truth by the author.  This series would be good for a child that enjoys discussing such things with you. 

I also recommend the websites:

Teenlitreview.blogspot.com

Whatshouldireadnext.com

Next week we can look at some classic books that definitely don’t take place in our world.  What genre of fiction do you enjoy and does your daughter enjoy the same?  Let me know in the comments section!

Update

For those of you who don’t know, I am in the process of writing a book with the same title and topic of this blog.  In fact, the blog came about because of the book.  I was able to get away to a writing retreat this week at The Convent.  It has been such a great week!  I got 21 pages done which covers roughly the first four chapters.  I realize those are some short chapters but it was good just to get that bare bones down on paper, now I get to start fleshing it out.  Because I am so excited it is hard not to start posting excerpts from what I have to the blog.  But I have been reading all over the place that this is not a smart thing to do, so I’ll have to stick to bribing friends to read it over for me. J

I’ve been learning a lot about platforms, blogging, and publishing lately.  If you are a writer mom like me, here are some of my favorite agent/writer blogs:

Rachel Gardner: http://www.rachellegardner.com/

Radical Womanhood: http://solofemininity.blogs.com/

Witty Words: http://christimcguire.wordpress.com/

If you are interested in social media and all the various uses and/or programs, even if you aren’t a writer, you will probably like these blogs.

Michael Hyatt: http://michaelhyatt.com/

La Vie en Prose: http://merbarnes.blogspot.com/

I am heading home today so this post is short.  I do want to make a shameless plea for you to become either a follower in the column on the right à or to sign up for email alerts when I post something new ß over here on the left.  I really appreciate you taking the time to read here and to comment.  Thank you!

Blood and Guts

            “Just the facts, ma’am.”  What do our daughters need to hear from us about their menstrual cycle?  Simple facts of chemistry and biology, yes.  Well, what does the world tell our daughters about their maturing body?  If you simply Google you will find lots of cold hard fact mixed with all the “what-if’s,” pain relief options, and possible complications.  You won’t find anything that ties a woman’s femininity to her cycle.  Only women get periods yet there is this glaring omission in the information that is presented. 

One of the key reasons for this omission is that God is left out of the discussion.  God created our bodies and He created this process.  He didn’t create the menstrual cycle to frustrate us or hinder us (from swimming, wearing white pants, etc.).  God created this intricate process as a fundamental part of what makes us different from men; our femininity.  Women, not men, have babies.  God created our menstrual cycle for a purpose, to conceive and bear children.  “Be fruitful and multiply..” 

This is a blessing!  We get to take part with God in creating new life.  Even Christ had an earthly mother.  Our menstrual cycles are not a curse we are forced to endure.  You don’t have to have a lengthily discussion on the birds-and-bees to share with your daughter the blessings that her womb was designed for.  One of the things I really liked about the MbHD curriculum was the video that talked about how detailed God was in creating the process of conception that goes on within just the woman’s body. 

Our daughters need to hear from us that blood is not gross.  Ok, that one might take some work for some of us.  Try looking up all references to blood in the Bible.  Blood is cleansing.  We were bought out of slavery by the blood of Christ.  Blood is life. How do you react to blood around your daughter?  Fearful and squeamish over gushing head wounds?  Yea, me too.  But when it comes to the slow and gentle welling of blood in a deep scrap it might help if we take the time to explain that blood is cleaning the wound and delivering all kinds of good stuff to the troubled area.  We have been conditioned to see blood as gross and a sign of danger.  Our daughters will not learn any different if we do not lead the way.

One of the topics that all the moms in my class commented on was how often options they had never thought of before were discussed; like cloth pads, Keepers, Cups, and sponges.  We discussed the roles of proper nutrition and simple herbs like red raspberry leaf tea.  We also discussed charting.  Everyone, mom and daughter, walked out of class knowing how to chart their cycle.  This might seem like something only those trying to conceive might be interested in, but there is more value to it then just that.  There are some very handy apps these days for charting and predicting when your next period will start, but they are computer programs that are capable of error just like humans.  If you have a good understanding of the phases of your cycle and can chart them out, you can plan not just for when your period will start but also when to consume more iron, water, or that tea we talked about.  I admit, I like tea.

Next week: The Fear-Curse-Victim approach

Tuitty Fruitty

        Love

        Joy

        Peace

        Patience

        Kindness

        Goodness

        Faithfulness

        Gentleness

        Self-Control

            The fruits of the Spirit have nothing to do with apples, peaches, or even tomatoes (yes, they are a fruit).  The above list from Paul, in Galatians 5:22, is made to contrast our preference for our human desires; which Paul lists as the “acts of the flesh,” (Galatians 5:19).  The evidence of good fruits in our lives is supposed to be a confirmation of our appreciation of Christ’s sacrifice for us.  Human beings can not read each others’ minds.  We have to rely on some outward actions and attitudes to understand where a person’s heart is at.

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance [says John the Baptist].    Matthew 3:8

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?  Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.    Matthew 7:16-20

            So if we are to be recognized by our fruit, I thought it would be appropriate to see what fruit I could find some of the fiction I have been going through on the blog.  Since I have been avoiding writing about The Hunger Games series I should start with that one first.  I’ll give you my take on the first four this week.  Please feel free to leave comments disagreeing with me.  I would love to hear if you see more to this story than I do!

Love:

            Lots of unrequited love in this series, as well as, doomed lovers who are pulled apart or killed.  But this is a dystopia novel, there is bond to be more hurt, anger, and sadness than love.  Does love win out in the end?  Are there any good role models for Love?  Peeta could be argued as a good role model for Love, but even he is twisted and broken in this department by the last book.

Joy: 

Ok, dystopia novel…joy is pretty slim here too.  Most joyful situations are bittersweet; such as when Peeta and Katniss try to honor Rue’s district and it only ends up getting many people in the district killed. 

Peace:

            Peace-makers are nonexistent is a story whose plot is driven by fighting.  We don’t even know if Katniss’s final act of violence produced a government of peace.

Patience:

            As far as a “peace that passes all understanding” there is a lot of waiting, a sort of hunter’s patience, if you will.  Peeta demonstrates patience in his love for Katniss.  Haymitch shows patience in his strategy. 

           

Antithesis

Ideas clash.  Ideas about how to raise children clash passionately.  Just watch one mom try to explain to another why she needs to get an epidural, birth naturally, stay at home, go back to work, private school, public school, etc.  The only topic I know more volatile than raising children is religion, and if you combine the two…look out.  Life is all about the clash of ideas.  It will surround our daughters in all they do.  Our daughters need to know:

1. How to hear an idea without agreeing with it.
2. How to respect another person, and value them, without agreeing with them.
3. How to speak their own ideas clearly with love and respect, but firm conviction.
4. How to evaluate another idea based on sound logic and a biblical worldview.

In short, we need to socialize our children.  Whether your daughters attend public, private, or you home-school; we need to influence our daughters more than anyone else.  This can be difficult at a time when they are testing the waters of independence. 

One way to socialize our daughters is to think about what other adults in our daughters’ lives we can point them to?  Who can we give them permission to look to as role models?  One of the nice benefits here is that they will hear the same advice that they mistook for misguided nagging when it came from us.  My daughters want to see the world outside of our home and that is a good thing.  I want them to still have sound guidance in situations when I am not there.  The answer is to get them involved in some activities where there are other adults you know and trust.  Our girls are part of a wonderful FLL team where I know the other moms and dads are upholding the same standards and morals that we hold to at home.  I know the other parents involved and I trust their influence over my children.  I welcome it, in fact.

Another way to influence our children and show them how ideas clash (antithesis) is through reading books with them.  I just recently heard a great speaker, Leigh Bortins, say, “Books introduce antithesis safely because kids will see it first hand soon enough.”  If I read the Hunger Games books with my daughters and talk about it with them, I can walk them through the four points given up above.  I can talk them through difficult ideas presented in the story as a way to give them positive guidelines for real life situations.  The conversations can be fun Saturday morning breakfasts out or silly giggly girly manicures at home.  The same can be done with movies if you make frequent use of the pause button.  The key is to talk to our daughters, ask them questions, and give them our thoughts on the matter. 

Listen, my [daughter], to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.      Proverbs 1:8-9

My [daughter], if you accept my words and store up my commands within you…    Proverbs 2:1

My [daughter], do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.     Proverbs 3:1-2

Listen, my [daughters], to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. For I too was a [daughter] to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.                  Proverbs 4:1-3

My [daughter], pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.                      Proverbs 5:1-2

And so on…J

Fear of Getting Burned (Hunger Games 2)

But why would it seem attractive to be untouchable? 

1.      Isolation is protection from hurt feelings and disappointment.  It is harder to hurt someone if they don’t need anything from you, and even more so, if you might actually need them. 

2.      This also means never having to say you are sorry or be weak enough to have to ask for forgiveness. 

3.      Emotional distance can seems like protection from the sometimes wild mood swings produced by hormones and new thinking processes in adolescence. 

4.      It is a position of power to be untouchable; you are pursued, but not the pursuer.  Someone who is untouchable is self-reliant, “strong,” and often “the rebel.”   These are all admirable traits in America.

5.      Emotional distance is seen as a necessary part of being objective about a situation and therefore, able to see what others who are more biased can not see.  I would love to look at how our current culture portrays those who are very smart.  I think most of them would be social inept and rather cold-hearted.

When I wrote about the Twilight series, I examined what it was about the stories that filled such a God-shaped need, albeit in a very non-God-like form.  Perhaps the reason that the Hunger Games is not such a popular series with adults is that most adults have learned that being alone and distant from human relationships is not all that it is cracked up to be.  The adolescent draw to the Hunger Games series isn’t so much about meeting an unfilled need but about belief in a lie.

The NIV Bible’s only use of the word isolation (because “emotionally distant” is more likely to be found in The Message) is in Leviticus in reference to those who are sick and contagious.  The Bible states many times that we do not live alone.  For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  Romans 14:7,8.  Even if we choose not to focus on the church body, local community, or families we do still live in relationship to God.  The relationship might be mostly one-sided on God’s part as He tries to win our hearts, but we are not isolated. 

The lie we believe is that emotional distance provides protection, perspective, and power.  This is whispered in our ears with racy song lyrics that mock love; books with strong solitary heroes; pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps attitudes; the American dream of self-reliance; and a culture that has cheapened commitment and canonized self-absorption.  When I do not feel it is safe or good to be “emotionally available” then I am more likely to increase my focus on self-reliance.  The more I rely on myself, the less I will rely on God.  Satan would love for me to decide that relationships are more trouble than they are worth and I am better off not needing anyone. 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.   And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’   All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

We must fight against this cultural belief in the lie that makes being emotionally distant attractive.  How can I love (the greatest commandment!) if I work hard to disconnect my emotions and myself from relationships? 

To delegate or not…that is the question.

A mom’s life is so busy that we can be tempted to give more time and energy to our short-term goals, like a clean(ish) home, than to the bigger long term goals.  It is easier to do certain chores around the house myself.  I can get the job done better and faster than my children.  This frees me up for the next emergent situation or task on my list.  But I need to think it through from a long term perspective.  Imagine with me…

            Your daughter has grown into a wonderful young lady and has found the man of her dreams to marry.  There is a beautiful and very touching ceremony but it isn’t long after the honeymoon that your daughter starts calling you in tears.  Her new husband (whom you found bright and charming) doesn’t have a clue how to do his own laundry.  He looks at her like she is speaking a foreign language when she asks him to clean up the bathroom.  He doesn’t know where to start.  In fact, he kinda grumbles about any household chores.  Your daughter sobs that she feels more like his mother than his wife. 

Now in your imagination, reverse that situation.  Your future son-in-law is calling his mom up to complain about your darling daughter regarding the exact same things. 

It might be harder and more time consuming to show your daughters how to go about doing chores around the house, but in the long run they (and you) will be better off for it.  I can not imagine if I had to keep up this house, school three children, take care of shopping, cooking, writing this blog, etc. all on my own.  The American myth of Supermom who can be all things to all people is a crippling lie. 

This same short-term thinking can effect how we discipline our daughters.  Are we so caught up in stopping the immediate actions of our daughters that we discipline their behavior instead of trying to reach their hearts?  Do we ignore an annoying or rude behavior until we get so frustrated we react in anger?  There are some great books out on trying to reach a child’s heart (which will in turn change their behavior on a much more consistent basis). 

If you aren’t sure where to start or what chores it would be reasonable to expect of them, I highly recommend 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home: Household tested and proven effective! Techniques, tips, tricks, and strategies on how to get your kids to share ... become self-reliant, responsible adults by Bonnie McCullough.  She goes through what chores you could introduce based on age and ability.  She also gives different tips, motivational methods, and systems to help with problem areas you might have in your home.

We need to realize when our focus on accomplishing the short-term goals can rob our daughters of learning accountability.  Our daughters will one day be accountable to a boss, husband, church family, and more importantly, God.  It is our jobs as mothers to take that extra time to discipline their hearts or show them again and again (and again) how to do chores around the house.  We are teaching them responsibility when we do this.  You can be very knowledgeable about many things, but if you do not have responsibility then your ability to discern how and when to use that knowledge will be severely hindered. 

My [daughter], do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a [mother] the [daughter she] delights in.  Proverbs 3:11,12

In regard to a wicked man: He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.  Proverbs 5:23

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!  It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.    Proverbs 6:6-8

Playing with Fire

You can’t touch fire.  In fact, fire has the nasty habit of destroying anything too close to it.  The heroine of The Hunger Games series is Katniss, “The Girl On Fire”.  One comment I have frequently heard when comparing this series with the Twilight books is the strength of the lead character Katniss compared to the clingy, boy-focused Bella.  Katniss isn’t just stronger physically; her greatest asset seems to be her tough emotional shell.  Just like every other fictional heroine, Katniss’s life prepared her to face the challenges in this story.  So what is it about her life that has isolated Katniss into a young girl with commitment issues?

In the world of this story life is hard.  You have to scrounge for food to keep from starving.  Katniss’s father (who died in a mining accident before the story even begins) was a great hunter and he apparently lived long enough to pass a great deal of this on to Katniss.  Katniss loved her father.  They understood each other and were quite close.  Katniss is not particularly close to her mother (who is never named), and when her father dies the nameless mother slips into a depression so deep that Katniss must become her father and provide for the family.  The only emotional connections left to young Katniss are those between her and her sister, Prim, and to her hunting partner, the handsome Gale.  Katniss must be strong, not only because she has no one looking out for her, but because she is responsible for the lives of her mother and little sister. 

Katniss has a difficult time understanding why the adults in her world silence her complaints and observations about life under the rule of the Capital.  She appears to mistake the adult’s lack of hope (their silence) as blindness.  Her character is presented as being lonely in her discernment of the Capital and its oppression.  She can relax and speak her mind with her friend Gale, but she is also becoming aware of his attraction to her, a thing she is not exactly happy about.  Katniss does not express this sentiment until later in the story, but she seems to not want to fall in love because love leads to marriage…and children.  Katniss does not want to watch her own children go through the reaping or the Hunger Games.  Again, this isn’t explained until much later in the books; however, in the beginning Katniss is clear that she does not want or need a romantic relationship. 

Katniss does have an emotional weak spot; she is a sucker for someone who needs her protection.  The only characters Katniss forms any attachments to are all ones that rely on her to protect them like Prim and Rue.  It isn’t until Peeta actually needs Katniss’s help in the Games (up until then he had been protecting her) that Katniss’s character shows some stirrings of feelings for him.  She fights these feelings and is, of course, clueless as to what they mean to her.  In the last book Katniss overhears Gale’s brilliant observation to Peeta that Katniss will ultimately choose whichever of them needs her protection most.  She might be a hunter and ultimately capable of cold-blooded murder, but she loves to rescue the strays and runts of humanity. 

Katniss is untouchable.  She thinks she doesn’t need help from others so it takes her a while to notice when someone is helping her.  She is also bitter and broken by the end of the books.  She has won a battle she never wanted to fight for people she didn’t know or care about.  Everyone she did care for is either dead, far away, or as broken as her.  The author ends the books with the idea that the world will be better for Katniss’s unwilling sacrifices.

Next Friday: Why is being untouchable so attractive to our daughters?

Fictional Friday 1 (into the Hunger Games)

Gale, Prim, Coin, Effie, Kat, Snow, Boggs, Saliva, Cinna, Beetee, Wiress, Chaff, Rue…Nope, you aren’t at a Hippie Convention.  These are the names of characters in the Hunger Games series. 

The Hunger Games series does not have the same draw with adults that the Twilight and Harry Potter series seem to have.  However, many public schools (at least three districts where I live) have it as required reading for a class, so many middle school and junior high school students have read them.  I’ll start with a brief summary of the series for the moms who haven’t read the books. *Beware, spoilers ahead*

Katniss is the main character throughout the series.  She is tough, emotionally distant, and generally clueless about her own power throughout the story line.  She gets stuck in a love triangle with Gale and Peeta (the first is the home-town hunter and the second competes in the Games with Katniss).  Death hangs over her head in various manners in each of the stories.  She triumphs despite incredible odds against her.

The books are centered around a future society where the government rules by fear.  Two children, one boy and one girl, from each of the 12 districts are chosen at random each year to compete in The Hunger Games (hence the title).  The Hunger Games are basically ancient Roman gladiator games; you can attract sponsors who will give you gifts that will help you, you have to kill your opponents, the “coliseum” is rigged with deadly traps to make things interesting.  Most importantly, this is all done for the amusement of the Capital.  The prize won by the district with the last child alive is an increase in food, thus less of their citizens will die of hunger that year. 

The second book is again a competition in the “coliseum” but with adults (some very old) and our young protagonists.  The third book is the rebel’s fight against the Capital.  Katniss is dragged into the rebel’s fight and made into their propaganda tool.  In the end, the rebels win (using horrible methods) and Katniss is in a position to take out their ruthless leader…which she does. 

I am oversimplifying quite a bit, but I wanted to give you a foundation to stand on so that as we look at this more in depth you have an idea of what is going on.  Some of the topics we will be looking at are:

• Sacrifice
• Humility
• Love (Romance)
• Family relations
• Gender Roles
• Trust (Peers and Adults)
• Isolation (Loneliness and Abandonment)
• Death (Fear of and Fascination with)
• Power
• Destiny/Luck

I can not say that I liked these books much.  My emotional reaction when reading the books was generally cranky and sad.  My kids didn’t like talking to me when I was reading them. J  I do see a few positive elements in the stories.  There were some nicely handled themes of a strong physical community, the manipulation of media, and the need to see the real truth. 

I would love to hear from others on these books!  There are not as many forums and the forums out there are not very busy.  I would love to hear what you enjoyed about each character you liked.  How did you feel about the killing in the books?  What were your favorite scenes in the book?  Why would you recommend these books to someone else?

New Posting schedule

Since I am done with the Twilight series (for now) I will be switching my posting schedule to Tuesdays and Fridays; instead of Twilight Tuesdays it will be Fictional Friday.  I know how corny it sounds, but that kind of clichéd stuff is easy to remember.  :)

I will start this Fictional Friday by looking at the Hunger Games series.  I am looking for some kids and/or moms who have read the series.  If I could get some feedback to a couple questions I have it would help me considerably.  The thing is...I don't know a lot of teens who have read the books.  If you know of any who would be willing to help me out, please let me know!


Thank you and see you on Friday.

Twilight Tuesday 9 (The desire for "more than this ordinary life")

The need for a quest or mystery to give us purpose is not a uniquely feminine quality.  Being Christian does not diminish our Humanity.  We long to be a part of something great and important; to have value in this mortal coil.  But a strong relationship with God, a necessary component of living God’s plan for us, is all about surrendering to God.  Being in a stage of rebellion makes it difficult to see the advantages of surrendering to anyone. 

            The purpose in our hearts for something “more than this” life is our subconscious knowledge that this world is lacking something.  We can reject God’s purpose for us as the Pharisees did (Luke 7:30).  We can work against God’s purpose, either out of ignorance or desire for our own will, but His plan will always win out (Acts 5:38).  We quickly question God’s plan when we feel God has denied us something we think we need.  We need to share with our daughters the prayers we are grateful that God didn’t answer the way we wanted Him to.  Mothers have the pressure of being a role model when it comes to living a life with purpose for God.  Not that your daughter can’t see you struggle, but she needs to at least see conviction through your actions that it is a struggle worth having.  I wrestle with this in my own life.  Trust me, writing this article has been a huge wake up call for my parenting skills.   And you never get it right all the time.  I would settle for almost half of the time!

God tells us, unmistakably, the path he wants us to walk (obedience isn’t just for our children), but he doesn’t force us.  We are not puppets on a string.  Puppets are never the heroines in the story because there can be no courage or sacrifice without first having free will.  Our created purpose is to worship Him though.  We are to have no other gods before God (Ex. 20:3). 

We can turn to Romans 12:2 for inspiration that we do not have to be removed from the world, but we do have to find the will to not be conformed to it.  Following God’s plan to give us “more than this” can cost us in worldly terms; friends, money, respect.  I know it was hard for me when I was a teen to grasp the long-term perspective of my heavenly reward for following God’s adventure.  I didn’t have enough years then to see value to benefits I would not receive for many years. 

God’s will for our lives, to reflect His glory, does not sound very glamorous to today’s satisfaction-soaked youth.  But the world knows how to grab our daughters’ hearts.  The world talks about princesses, true-love, and beauty (warped as the standard may be).   As mothers and as Christians, we need to remind our daughters that they are already the child of a King.  They are princesses in a drama that will allow them to be heroes, if they would just be open to the possibility.

Fifth Concerto

See if you can tell what book I have been rereading…

I want my girls to have balance.  I will be disappointed if they do not feel compassion and mercy for others, but I do not want them to feel that simple need is a basis for giving.  If my daughters come to believe that having a need entitles a person to their compassion then they are in danger of expecting others to do for them what they could do (with a little hard work) for themselves.

The daily wisdom of this should show in how I parent and live.  I should strive to model: a willing and joyful work ethic; frequent exercise of my mind in solving problems (not always running to a “helpful” YouTube video); an absolute trust in God to carry me through (but never to “make it easy” for me).  I need to model applying myself to helping others help themselves, but not at the expense of that person’s chance to provide for them self.  Perhaps this last one is done in giving a person the education, opportunity, and space to use their own mind and own hard work.  As much as I can see these things all at work in how I teach childbirth and my services as a doula…I fail all the time as a parent.  It is hardest to be my best for the people I love the most.

I want my daughters to learn to use their minds, not just their bodies as our “grocery store check-out line” culture would have them believe.  I do not worship Capitalism, Intelligence, or Humanity.  I worship a God who created me out of love.  He created me with a capacity to love others.  He fashioned my mind for complex thoughts.  I am created in His image; capable of wisdom and the ability to act on it.

I do not want my daughters to feel limited by their gender nor do I want them to feel a cultural compulsion to shed their feminine nature to be “productive” or to have value.  I do not want my daughters to get socialized by the Disney/Hollywood/Bestseller List notion of romance and emotional love.  I hope my daughters can view screens (TV, internet, video games) as a tool to be used in moderation, not as an escape or addiction that slowly drains them of the desire and ability to think.

My daughters are beautiful, confident, intelligent, and capable young ladies; not because I am a wonderful mother (more in spite of my parenting) but because God created them this way.  I have the task to be my best and to encourage, reward, and discipline in such a way as to nurture and grow these traits into their adulthood.

Twilight Tuesday 8 (A Grand Destiny)

In the Twilight series, Bella is an ordinary girl, with brown hair and a tendency to bump into things and fall.  Of course, young girls want to be Bella!  You can be desirable in all these ordinary ways and find out that you aren’t so ordinary after all.  Bella was born to be an eternally beautiful, filthy rich, globe trotting vampire with a husband who is just as obsessed with her as she is with him.  We want to be surprised one day that our days of mundane life have paid off in such a way too!  She didn’t have to study for years to get these things.  She didn’t have to work for it or gain life experience for years before it was an option.  All Bella had to do was be a “good” average person; she moves to her dad’s house as a kindness to her mother, though her mother doesn’t know it, and finds the fulfillment for her life. 

            What Edward can offer your daughter is eternal youth and devastating good-looks.  She will become hotter than a super model without having to diet and work out.  Edward has endless time, money, and energy to offer for the adventure.  He is older and more mature despite his youthful appearance.  He is the ultimate sugar daddy without the weird Oedipal/Electra complex. 

            The exciting action of this series isn’t simply how a vegetarian vampire or a reluctant werewolf woos a young human girl with “no natural instinct for self-preservation.”  There are numerous times when lives are at stake (no pun intended).   In the Twilight series, Heroism means to dodge danger with no fear to yourself but a complete focus on others’ lives.  Selfishness is not a quality tolerated well by characters in these books.  But what gives meaning to the characters’ lives is primarily based in their relationships (this is at its heart, a romance series).